The Old Man And The Sea

A ships waiter is at a cabin door with a tray of lobster and an ice bucket with champagne in it.

He is just about to knock when the Captain stops him.

Along with the captain are two very burly looking crew members who are helping a really old man in a oil stained vest and underpants to stand up.

The captain then knocks on the door and enters.

inside the cabin a man is sunglasses is sat on the bed listening to music full blast on MTV and he looks surprised as the captain enters.

CAPTAIN
You're nicked you bastard; I've had my share of stowaways in the past but you're the worst f**king one I've ever come across.

The old man then comes into the cabin and points his bony finger at the man.

OLD MAN
"That's him captain that's the one who told me that he was you and that terrorists had taken over the ship. I've been hiding in the boiler room since we left Southampton .

Totally confusing, the text and dialogue need clarifying. I've read it through 3 or 4 times and still can't work out who is who.

Sorry Bill I wrote it in my break as I like to do one a day. I'll fix it now and thanks for the read even though you couldn't read it .
Bill I went over it and I couldn't see the problem, that doesn't mean its not there I just can't see it. I added the fact they're in the cabin to see if that helps

I couldn't work it out either .I prefer it to the Hemingway though

Thanks for the read John Bill had trouble as well and I can't even see it? Weird that one, The premise is just the stowaway told the old man to hide from the terrorists so that he could have his cabin.
I'll have to go back to the blackboard as I'm stumped about this one as I know you're both right I just can't see where I'm going wrong its a blind spot on my side .

I'v e read it again.You are right, it's quite straightforward.I was over thinking it,your stories are usually more convoluted.

Thanks.. I think ?

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ 21st June 2021, 9:48 PM

Thanks for the read John Bill had trouble as well and I can't even see it? Weird that one, The premise is just the stowaway told the old man to hide from the terrorists so that he could have his cabin.
I'll have to go back to the blackboard as I'm stumped about this one as I know you're both right I just can't see where I'm going wrong its a blind spot on my side .

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That is possibly the missing bit. There was nothing making it clear that the room was the paid-for cabin of the old-man.

Sorry about that Bill sloppiness on my part and thanks again for the read of it.

That's really funny. I read it last night and it made perfect sense to me. I also thought it was as original and as entertaining as any sketch I've seen on TV. Okay, it's not 'Four Candles' but I can still imagine the Two Ronnies doing that sketch and getting a huge laugh from one end of the UK to the other.
Well done, Teddy.

Thanks for the read I remember Hale & Pace but not that well I'm afraid .