A Lincolnshire field
A farmer is standing on his tractor addressing a rag tag mob of job hunters sent by the Job Centre.
FARMER
So now you know what's what, you'll be pleased to know that you can all start tomorrow . I'll take you all on!'
Woman
Excuse me where's the toilets?
FARMER
There's a ditch over by that hedgerow.
TEENAGER
Where's the canteen for our lunch break?
FARMER
You're standing in it
50 year old skinhead
When do we do the Elf & Safety guff
FARMER
You don't
GIRL
What happens if it rains?
FARMER
You get wet
FAT MAN
How much an hour do we get paid?
FARMER
You don't I pay by weight
FAT MAN
So I get more than them
FARMER
No the weight of what you've picked.
WOMAN
And you say this all starts at 5 o'clock
FARMER
That's right it's a 10 hour shift
TEENAGER
Ten Hours
50 Year Old Skinhead
That means we won't get home till 2 in the morning? I'll end up waking my mum up
FARMER
You're more likely to wake your mum as you're getting ready mate. 2 o'clocks what time you'll be getting up. We start the shift at 5 O'clock in the morning.
TEENAGER
F**k that
WOMAN
I can't do those hours
GIRL
As if
FATMAN
My backs not what it was
50 YEAR OLD SKINHEAD
What do you think we are f**king foreigners?
FARMER
I wish to God you were I really do.
