SCENE: A busy casino cashiers office 1am July 6th.
Four men in shirtsleeves wearing shoulder holsters are playing cards at a table. Overhead them is a bank of CCTV monitors. Suddenly one of the men looks up at the monitors and speaks in an English accent.
ENGLISH SECURITY
Uh oh Frank it looks like we have real trouble on our hands!
The rest of the men look up at the TV monitor. On the screen is a man wearing dark sunglasses and is wearing an Everton top. He has a bandaged arm in a sling and an eye patch and is wearing an earpiece and a built up left shoe.
Frank is about to speak when the radio goes.
RADIO
Frank this the foyer. Some guy with his arm in a sling has just breezed past the Xray check and he seems to have three metal tubes in his shirt pocket. Do I pull him over?
Frank smiles as he replies in a heavy 'New Yoik' accent .
FRANK
No leave this turkey to me Phil. Oh and tell the new security team we're training to meet me on the floor please, this is going to be a live lesson for them.
The ENGLISH SECURITY MAN is shaking his head.
ENGLISH SECURITY MAN
I don't like it I don't like it all Frank, he's a Scouser and you'll have to be on the ball to catch one of those out.
FRANK
First off what's a goddam f**king Scouser when it's up to bat? And secondly how do you know it?
ENGLISH SECURITY MAN
He's wearing an Everton football shirt, or should I say soccer shirt. And that means that he's from Liverpool and that my American friend makes him a Scouser!
FRANK
I ain't buying it buddy and you shouldn't be selling it . Shit I've arrested at least fifty guys in Liverpool soccer shirts and most of them where either from Bangkok or Kula Lumpa.
ENGLISHMAN
That's the red ones, this guys a blue , that makes him local and exceptionally wily by nature. I should know I spent enough time in the UK police before I moved out here to do this.
FRANK
Well, he doesn't scare me! Wily? Shit he's got more props than Barnum and goddam f**king Bailey. And look at the time he's picked? The first session AFTER the holiday weekend. The place is almost empty and at best there's 90,00 bucks on the whole floor as floats. And we would sure as shit notice that going missing. No, you watch me my friend I'll show you how you take out the trash.
The four men leave the office and head onto the main floor and as they do so several other security officers are headed toward the man who has just sat down at a Blackjack table.
Frank taps the SCOUSER on the shoulder.
SCOUSER
You're ok mate I don't need a drink I've only just come in.
FRANK
Never mind the drinks, how about you answer a few questions instead?
SCOUSER
Nah I'm shit at quizzes I'd rather play cards if you don't mind?
The SCOUSER turns back to the table and Frank taps him on the shoulder again.
SCOUSER
F**k off Jim Bowen I'm playing cards!
FRANK
Jim Bowen?...
ENGLISH SECURITY
He's a famous UK TV quiz master.
FRANK is fuming and pulls his gun indicates by waving it for the SCOUSER to discreetly move away from the table and stand by a pillar next to a bank of fruit machines.
SCOUSER
If this is a robbery you can f**k off, I've only got 200 quid on me and going by how big your gang is you'll be lucky to get 10 quid each. To be honest you'd be better off selling your guns, you'd get more dough.
FRANK (snorts)
Us trying to rob you that's f**king rich buddy, what's in the pocket?
FRANK leans over a takes out three metal cigar tubes and opens them and tips the contents onto the top of a slot machine. He then gathers the contents and shows it to all the other security officers as the Scouser stands smiling and silent.
The contents are three pieces of string, a small compass, a magnet and a piece of paper with 777 -7777? written on it.
The men are discussing in a huddle with the odd word being overheard.
"The string obviously holds the magnet!"
"The compass might react to the magnet'
"The numbers could be a safe combination"
"Get them!"
One of the men then gets the cigar tubes themselves off the fruit machine and the men start trying to join the tubes and using the magnet on them all to no avail.
FRANK is now livid at how calm the Scouser is.
FRANK
Ok buddy lets hear it and no bull, for a start what's the string for?
SCOUSER
To tie to the magnet
FRANK
I f**king knew it! Now what's the skinny once the magnets on the string?
SCOUSER
I can use it to get my car keys if they ever fall down a drain!
FRANK
And the compass
SCOUSE MAN
Every time I ask for directions people say things like 'Head East' and then 'Turn West' ? How the f**k am I supposed to know what to do next if we haven't a compass?
FRANK is not liking the replies and it shows.
FRANK
OK what with the bandage arm and the sling?
SCOUSE MAN
I had my arm out of the window all the way down here in my hire car and it got sunburnt.
FRANK
And the eye patch?
The SCOUSER lifts up the eye patch and his pupil is very red and watery.
SCOUSER
Never rub your eye after eating a street vendors extra chilli taco.
FRANK is desperate.
FRANK
The built up shoe?
SCOUSER
You know yourself Vegas is wall to wall with roof top snipers! I just like to break up my walking pattern . That way if there is one on the loose, they'll pick a softer target! And before you ask my earpiece is connected to my Iphone so I can listen to music. if that's still legal!
FRANK is now totally livid and he holds out the piece of paper
FRANK
Well, what these numbers and the question mark that has to be a code?
SCOUSER
It's a taxi number, I was considering getting a quote to get picked up from the airport.
The ENGLISH SECURITY man takes the paper and gets his phone out.
SCOUSER
Don't forget to put 0151 in front of that mate it's a Liverpool number.
The ENGLISH SECURITY man rings the number and holds it up on speakerphone as a woman with a heavy scouse accent answers.
WOMAN
All the 7's where are you? and where are you going ?
The ENGLISH SECURITY face is downcast as he ends the call.
ENGLISH SECURITY
That checks out.
One other security guy has the SCOUSERS wallet and pulls out a card he reads it the passes it to Frank who reads it out loud.
FRANK.
Magic Mike Corporate events, Children's party's sleight of hand specialist. So you're f**king magician as well are you?
The SCOUSER puts his hand behind FRANKS ears and pulls out three balloons which he then blows up and makes a balloon dog.
SCOUSER
I take it magic's still legal in Vegas.
FRANK has had enough and indicates for the team to escort the SCOUSER out of the casino.
FRANK
I can't prove it buddy, but you spell bad news in letters that stretch from here to the Bronx . Now you get the hell out of my casino and don't come back!
SCOUSER
Suit yourself.
As the SCOUSER is led away FRANK and the ENGLISH SECURITY guy head back to the office.
FRANK
God knows what stunt that guy was about to pull? All I can say is thank god we stopped him.
ENGLISH SECURITY
What gets me is why would one Scouser come all this way for a waste of time like that?
FRANK looks at his watch.
Speaking of time wasting that's 45 minutes of my life that I won't get back.
FRANK then opens the Cashiers Office door and as he does so he sees that the cashiers are tied up and gagged and the safe is open and empty.
FRANK
Oh my god the entire holiday weekend takings.
THE ENGISH SECURITY man clicks his fingers in a Eureka moment.
ENGLISH SECURITY
That's it! There was two of them all along.
