Theatre dressing room.
A man in a silk dressing gown is applying make up in a mirror while talking to a detective.
ACTOR
And that's when I found the death threat on my door held in place with the knife.
CID
Is it a death threat?
ACTOR
Detective I have been in over 20 various Agatha Christie productions, so you are safe to assume that I know a death threat when I see one!
CID
But all the message says is 'F**k You idiot features'.
ACTOR
Does not the bloodied stiletto used to impale the threat not add the requisite amount of gravitas to endorse my opinion that my very life is in peril?
The detective holds up a plastic evidence bag containing a Swiss Army knife
CID
Actually, sir as you can see its Swiss Army knife not a stiletto.
ACTOR
And yet cannot this very bloodstained dagger we see before us take my life at the assassins whim?
CID
It's not a dagger either sir, nor is it blood stained, in fact it looks brand new.
ACTOR
Regardless of its pedigree does not the act of using a blade to impale the threat make a solid reference to my impending peril.
CID
Actually, sir they used the corkscrew section to fix it to the door. In fact ,the small blade fixture looks like it's never even been opened .
ACTOR
Detective far be it for me to tell you your job but I sense that you're not taking this threat to my life very serious, a knife person is out there waiting for the very moment they can plunge it into my heart!
CID
Well given that the knife in question is in this bag and is brand new and is neither blood stained nor opened on the actual knife segment I don't think you're in too much danger unless they plan on slitting your throat with the receipt.
ACTOR
Oh the irony to die at the hands of a mere Chandlers chit
CID
The notes right you are a f**king idiot.!
