INT. Restaurant - Evening.
A doctor and a waitress are on a date with each other.
Doctor:
What can I do for you today?
Waitress:
I'm sorry?
Doctor:
Have you been keeping well? How's that rash looking?
Waitress:
I don't think it's the time to be discussing this.
Doctor:
Oh, I'm sorry. I haven't switched off from work yet.
Waitress:
That's okay. I do that too sometimes. Let's get some drinks, what would you like?
Doctor:
I could go for a gin.
Waitress:
With ice?
Doctor:
Now, I'm cool enough.
Waitress:
[fake laugh] would you like some water for the table?
Doctor:
No, I'm okay thank you... Hey! You're doing it now!
Waitress:
Oh, yes I am, sorry!
Doctor:
It's your night off, relax! [gestures a waiter over]
Waiter:
[dramatically] To be ready to order, or not to be ready? That is the question! Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer! The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and, by opposing, end them? To die, to sleeeeeeep!
Doctor:
Excuse me?
Waiter:
I do apologise, for you see I am an actor. Sometimes I get my roles mixed up, as it were.
Doctor:
That's funny, were we just doing the same sort of thing.
Waiter:
It's rather unfortunate, I once asked Sir Ian Mckellen if he had any reservations.
Waitress:
And what did he say?
Waiter:
Well let's just say, he gave me a rather large tip!
Waitress:
[fake laughs] Are you ready to order?
Waiter:
No Dear, that's my line.
Waitress:
[laughs]
[Fade out]
An hour later...
Doctor:
That was delicious!
Waitress:
Yes, thank you. I've had a lovely time.
Doctor:
Just what the Doctor ordered.
Waitress:
[fake laughs]
The waiter returns to the table.
Waiter:
I do hope everything was okay?
Doctor:
Yes thank you. May we have the bill please?
Waiter:
Of course - The waitress was played by Julie Sanders, The Doctor by Kenneth Moores and the star of the show was me, Terrance Maynard, as Augustus, the waiter, a man who will go the extra mile but at what cost, to himself, his family--
Doctor:
Sorry, no, I meant the bill for the meal.
Waiter:
Of course [bitterly scorns the doctor].
Waitress:
[hands The Doctor a coaster and faces the other way].
[The Doctor and the Waiter look at each other confused].
[The Waiter hands the Doctor the bill]
The Doctor:
[Writes something on the bill] Just take two of these four times a day and if it doesn't clear up come back and see me.
The Waitress:
[Fake laughs uncontrollably].
The Doctors:
[Gestures an over the top shrug]
The Waiter:
[Bows as the other customers cheer and throw roses at him].
THE END.
