British Comedy Guide

the daftest thing ever seen written on a packet. Page 2

:D

I'm sure that in America guns come with 'not suitable for children' on the packages.

Yeah they do but the gun manufacturers are trying to find a way around that legislation, as the youth/child market is THE major domestic growth opportunity that they just can't afford to miss..

Kids love guns! ;)

The 'do not open' packet theme is a bit like the door with do not open or the button with do not press, on.
Why? I wouldn't have thought of it if they hadn't have brought it up!

I've tested your theory and by God, you were right.

How do you put a child back together again?

Quote: Aaron @ October 28, 2007, 7:48 PM

Well, as they say, every little helps!

Seen at Tesco customer services, a sign which read: "only a small amount of cash is kept in this till" and beneath it...

honest

A label showing prunes in a dish with 'serving suggestion' written next to it. Doh.

Until the label taught me the errors of my way, I'd always served up my prunes on a warm dog-turd.

Laughing out loud

Sainsbury's used to sell a Tiramisu with the good advice of 'do not turn upside down' on the bottom of the product.

What I love about the 'contain nuts' warning on peanuts is the actual wording is usually 'MAY contain nuts' like they haven't bothered to check or someone might be having a laugh and put chicken in there instead.

'Fit Firemen In Bondage' and 'Triple X With Xtra X's' coming with the warning 'contains scenes of sexual content'.

My favourite is always when you need a pain relief tablet, or have been given tablets for something by the doctor & the info inside some warns
May cause headaches & drowsiness.
Bloating, constipation, pain, swelling, itching, mood swings etc etc etc

Whats the fooking point then. Give me a pill that will cure me not turn me into a sniveling wreck serial killer with a bad head & an itchy Arse hole!

This is not the first time you've turned the conversation around to itchy arseholes, Charley!!! Laughing out loud

How are ya doin' anyroadup?

Here are a few good ones:

On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Doritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children

On a helmet mounted mirror used by cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you

And my personal favorite:

On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids:
Lie down on bed and insert poscool slowly up to the projected
portion Like a sword-guard into anal duct. While inserting poscool
for Approximately 5 minutes, keep quiet.

Yer those are great - saw them in an email... can't believe the things that get written on them!

Not on a packet, but I recall seeing a sign that said "This is not a sign"

Its like stating the bleeding obvious really. Like Mind the Step, Mind your Head. Do not place any body parts in tube doorways.

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