Quote: Kenny Bania @ 4th March 2021, 6:07 PMJust got the 'nearly' email....
Well done Kenny
Newsjack Series 24 - Feb/Mar 2021 Page 5
Great going Kenny. Nothing for me, and only two more episodes left this series
Cheers BTF and GAP
Will try and find out what it was - won't be a sketch though....
Hope someone else on here strikes it lucky
Well done Kenny.
I got a good email!
Well done, Dantrobus - continuing your good form
Quote: Dantrobus @ 4th March 2021, 6:23 PMWell done Kenny.
I got a good email!
Well done.
I mean well done Kenny Bania. I forget you are not actually a Kenny!
Many congrats Dantrobus
Quote: Dantrobus @ 4th March 2021, 6:23 PMWell done Kenny.
I got a good email!
Yay! Well done Dantrobus and Kenny! Nothing here.
Good luck everyone for the next episode!
Thanks all. Mine was this GWBW:
It's been a good week for Volvo who announced they are going fully electric by 2030. But a bad week for older Volvo fans who preferred their earlier acoustic stuff.
First time I've had a GWBW on the show.
Quote: Dantrobus @ 5th March 2021, 7:02 AMIt's been a good week for Volvo who announced they are going fully electric by 2030. But a bad week for older Volvo fans who preferred their earlier acoustic stuff.
Ha, I like it! Well done you and Kenny! Nothing for me, as we don't have a rejects thread here are my failures:
BREAKING NEWS:
1. A mother who gave birth during the latest COVID19 lockdown says she was shocked to be fined £200. A police spokesperson has confirmed that the mother's baby was in breech.
2. A World War 2 bomb has been detonated in a controlled explosion near University Of Exeter Halls Of Residence - several students returned to their rooms to find the bomb had caused extensive improvements.
3. News of an increased Brazilian risk of COVID19 has led to a number of women fearing that the situation could become quite hairy.
GOOD WEEK/BAD WEEK:
1. It's been a bad week for a British racehorse trainer who has been banned from his job after being photographed sitting on a dead horse; it's been a good week for The League Against Cruel Sports who want horse racing banned, having themselves been repeatedly accused of flogging a dead horse
2. It's been a good week for a company who have started construction on the world's first Space Hotel; it's been a bad week for the company after their plans were criticised by potential guests who feel the hotel will lack atmosphere.
3. It's been a bad week for Netflix after Taylor Swift accused it of "degrading women" after one of its shows made a joke about how quickly she allegedly goes through men. It's been a good week for women after Netflix apologised, clarifying that it only meant to degrade Taylor Swift.
We covered a couple of the same topics, Skram! Here are mine.
BREAKING NEWS:
Horse racing trainer Gordon Elliott has been suspended after being pictured sitting on the corpse of a stallion, proving that, if you need a metaphor for the cruelty of racing, you can't beat a dead horse.
Meteorites may have landed in a field in Cheltenham after fragments of a distant comet entered the Earth's atmosphere. An expanse of nothingness with no atmosphere or signs of intelligent life, Cheltenham is a town in Gloucestershire.
Boris Johnson has said that now is "the right time" for the UK to bid to host the 2030 World Cup. A source later clarified that by, 'right time', he means that if the teams set off now, they should just get through the Kent tailbacks in time for kick-off.
GOOD WEEK/BAD WEEK:
A good week for the Orbital Assembly Corporation who announced plans for the first ever space hotel to open by 2027. A better week for Karen from Barnsley who announced plans to complain about pubes floating above the bed later that year.
A good week for Volvo who announced they are going fully electric by 2030. A bad week for older Volvo fans who preferred their earlier acoustic stuff.
A bad week for dog owners who have been buying lockable, steel-core collars and leads after a spate of dognapping. A good week for dogs who say they're flattered but honestly would have been fine with just a card and a cake.
I loved that Volvo joke!
I managed three breaking news and one sketch. The one-liners were terrible, but I had to send something in.
I thought the sketch was better. Someone turns up at a house wanting to buy Amazon rainforest after seeing an advert on Fb. After being handed old drum & bass records, turns out the ad was "For sale, massive jungle". B'dum, tish. I should have changed it to a one liner maybe?
Like the Volvo joke, Dantrobus.
( My near miss was also a gwbw - the patio one )
The five I put in were :
The M6 motorway was temporarily closed after a lorry containing tinned fruit burst into flames, causing the road surface to crumble
Two shoppers have been spotted wearing head to toe protective suits, rubber gloves and goggles in a branch of Waitrose in Hull. Passers-by expressed shock, saying they didn't realise they had a Waitrose in Hull
A company has started selling bottles of air from areas of natural beauty for £75. For a further £5 it can be gift wrapped with underwear - the 'air in a g-string' option
It's been a bad week for historic churches, after it was revealed that thieves have been stealing their valuable paving slabs. But a good week for me, as my new patio is looking absolutely fabulous
It's been a good week for a woman who found an extremely valuable piece of whale vomit on a beach in Thailand. And a good week to respond by saying 'That's really sick '
Could someone clarify something for me about the submissions - are you supposed to include a link to the article that your joke/sketch is about? The template doesn't, but I keep questioning myself.
Not had any luck this series, and I'm not saying that it's down to formatting mistakes, BUT it's always nice to have an excuse!
Quote: SUmrigar @ 5th March 2021, 3:31 PMCould someone clarify something for me about the submissions - are you supposed to include a link to the article that your joke/sketch is about? The template doesn't, but I keep questioning myself.
Not had any luck this series, and I'm not saying that it's down to formatting mistakes, BUT it's always nice to an excuse!
You should, yes. It's the bit on the template that says "INSERT NEWS STORY REFERENCE / RELEVANT LINK HERE" just above the sketch title, just below the name and email box.