Originally posted in 4laughs.. not intended as anything serious, just some of the crap I spew forth.. <no different than the other stuff then!!!>
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INT. LANGHAMS RESTAURANT. JUST OFF PICCADILLY, LONDON. A “KEN DODD APPRECIATION LUNCH” WITH GUEST OF HONOUR KEN DODD AND SPECIAL GUESTS: MAX MILLER, LENNY BRUCE, RICKY GERVAIS, PETER COOK & RUSSELL BRAND WITH C4LAUGHS CHRIS NORMAN AS “MINE HOST”. AS WE ENTER, THEY’RE TOWARDS THE END OF LUNCH AND ALL GETTING ALONG FAMOUSLY.
LENNY BRUCE:
You know, all that political stuff I did was inspired by the famous Ken Dodd Tickling Stick. Yes, it’s true…Doddy came out to DC in ‘50 when I was doing mainly old fart gags and he perfected his Tickling Stick routine out there… anyways, so he pushed it in my face and said, “By Jove, how tickled you are…I think you should be Polly Tickle, Lenny..” and that was it! It just clicked, that’s where it all started for me…
RICKY GERVAIS:
You know, I've got to tell you, just about everything in ‘The Office’ and ‘Extras’ has been influenced by Doddy and the Diddy Men… absolutely everything; and I’m proud to announce he’s agreed to be a guest star on ‘Extras’ for Series 3, thanks Ken! (raises wine glass in salute).
MAX MILLER:
My story’s a bit like Lenny’s. It was 1905, I was only 11 and Doddy travelled back in time from 1965 and really inspired me to become a comedian. I wanted to be a bendy-bus driver but they hadn’t been invented, and anyway, when I saw Doddy and his Tickling Stick, well… He said, “Maxie, you little Cheeky Chappie… here’s a tattyfilarious idea, ask them if they want one from the White Book or one from the Blue Book… “Well, it made me a star didn’t it… (nods his appreciation to Doddy)
PETER COOK:
My dream was that it would be Pete and Ken, er, well Ken and Pete, ...but he was a big star by then… we did talk about it but then he got this idea about the “Diddy Men from Knotty Ash” and, well that just blew all my satirical stuff out of the water, didn’t it… …and then along came Dud and hey, Dud by name… but there you go…
RUSSELL BRAND: (jumps up and hugs Doddy and stands behind him)
I’ve an announcement to make as well… Ken Dodd is my Dad!! I suppose you could have guessed from the hair… I changed my name because I didn’t want it to seem that I was cashing in on the Doddy legacy, and I didn’t want all the hysteria that would have surrounded a Diddy Doddy…
KEN DODD:
By Jove, how tickled I am, you’ve done well to make it under your own steam, son… (sheds a tear and starts singing, “Tears for souvenirs are all that’s left me…”)
CHRIS N:
Well, we’re just about coming to the end of “The Ken Dodd Appreciation Lunch”… Doddy, thank you for everything you’ve done for comedy over the decades you’ve been a star. Can I ask you to set the 4laughs guys and gals their second joke competition and will you offer them a small prize … it would mean so much to them all, I know…
KEN DODD JOKE COMPETITION
KEN DODD:
How tattyfilarious! By Jove, missus… what a day for waving your knickers in the air and shouting, over here vicar, quick!
“How many Post Ironic Comedians does it take to paint a telephone box?”
You can either answer this joke, or By Jove, write your own Tickling Stick gag!! The prize is a wonderful VHS tape of me from 1973 - An Audience With Ken Dodd, 30 minutes of which has never been seen before, and when you see it , you'll see why!
CHRIS N:
So the winner gets one copy of the tape, right?
KEN DODD:
Yep!
CHRIS N:
But Ken we’ve got this one guy, cosmos100, who thinks that watching you is about as funny as watching a funeral… what do we give him if he wins?
KEN DODD:
We’ll give him TWO copies!
CHRIS N:
Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen, Ken Dodd, Lenny Bruce, Max Miller, Peter Cook, Ricky Gervais and Russell Dodd, I mean Brand… Good-afternoon, everybody… thank you….thank you…
PS It wasn't really an Official 4 Laughs competition (just so you know..)
Frankie xxx