The Wedding Night
Scene 1 - Hotel Room
A young woman enters a hotel room in a wedding dress, and her husband follows in a tuxedo. They both look nervous and try to avoid eachother's eyes.
Woman
Well..
Man
Yes..
Woman
This..
Man
Would seem to be..
Both
It.
They both laugh nervously, the man laughing slightly longer and then, in embarrassment, feigning a coughing fit.
Man
Well..
Woman
What a day.
Man
Yes, it certainly was..a day.
Woman
And now begins..
Man
The night.
They both break into laughter but then turn their backs on eachother, the woman to adjust her hair and the man to pour two whiskies. When finished the man downs both drinks.
Man
You see, the crux of the problem is that mummy didn't really tell me what to expect.
Woman
Yes, mama gave me the briefest of briefings.
Man
I mean...she always said that it would be a nice surprise.
Woman
Yes, it's not like I wasn't expecting to like you.
Man
And I loved you from the moment that I lifted the veil.
Woman
Well, yes, I adored you from the moment that you said 'I do'.
Man
But..
Woman
Yes..
Man
It would be nice to get to know eachother..
Woman
Before we get to know eachother..
Man
Yes..
Woman
Well, how about we..don't, but we SAY that we did.
Man
Oooh...you are naughty.
Woman
You'll come to love it. Come on, let's bounce on the bed.
They begin to do so, joyously.
Scene 2 - Below
An elderly woman is standing at the top of a stepladder, craning her neck to the roof. Another elderly woman holds the ladder from below. There is the sound of groaning springs from above.
Elderly Woman
Welcome, Celia my dear, to a long and illustrious partnership.