British Comedy Guide

TV shows under lockdown.

I think we might all agree it would be impossible to stage a credible boxing match in which the fighters weren't allowed to be closer than 2 metres from each other.

On the other hand, it's certainly possible to produce a "lockdown" version of HIGNFY where everybody is literally miles away from everybody else and appearing on their own little screen.

Not only is it possible to produce such a show, they've actually done it - and, surprisingly, it works quite well.

Not a patch on the normal version, of course, but still eminently watchable and enjoyable.

Unfortunately, I can't say the same for "The Graham Norton Show". Under normal circumstances, it can be wonderful entertainment with the right collection of guests on the sofa. Under lockdown conditions, however, it's a very pale imitation of its former self.

Is it better than nothing? Yes, of course it is - but it's not better than hundreds of other alternatives available with a couple of clicks of one's remote control.

I've read that Peaky Blinders and other shows have stopped filming. We're gonna have a drought of programming in the next 6-12 months. No problem, I'll just switch to watching sports.

Something relaxing about the new shows Jamie Oliver has made for cooking ideas during lockdown. His family sometimes get involved and they all seem like a nice bunch of kids. They're very quiet but I'm sure that isn't the case when the camera isn't rolling.

There's only three episodes of Celebrity Juice in the current series because of the pandemic, and this week's and next week's have a guest team captain. Feels a bit weird without Holly (and, obviously, Fearne).

What about Strictly?

I suppose it will have to be the dance with a mannequin round, then vogueing, solo ballet, Travolta with his favourite bedroom mirror style, Oops Upside Your Head on very separate rowing boats and a bit of jazzed up Marcel Marceau.

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