Last week, on these boards, somebody suggested to me that there was a particularly shocking scenario that could be used to good effect in a sketch. Here is my attempt.
Int Vintage Scooter Shop - Morning
Terry is walking around the shop looking at various scooters. He stops and starts looking at a Lambretta. The owner of the shop, Sam, comes over.
Sam: Beautiful isn’t it.
Terry: Yeah, you can say that again. I had one like this back in the 60’s.
Sam: I drove this very one down to Brighton on the mayday bank holiday in ’64. Got into a few scrapes that weekend, I can tell you.
Terry: Oh yeah? You beat a few rockers heads in did yer?
Sam: Rockers? Rockers?! Nah, didn’t see any of them down there.
Terry: Oh, really?
Sam: Yeah, it was mostly toddlers down there.
Terry: Toddlers?
Sam: Hordes of ‘em. Riding up and down the seafront on their trikes laughing at us. Heh, they weren’t laughing for long though.
Terry: I don’t think I follow….
Sam: One of ‘em, I think he was the leader like, came up and started giving it all this. He reckoned he was gonna get his dad after me. I wasn’t standing for that, so I picked him up and you know what I did?
Terry: What?!
Sam: I kicked him in the nuts! Then his little mate come running up to me and said I smell, so I grabbed hold of him and kicked him in the nuts and all.
Terry: You sick bastard. I’m going to report you.
Terry storms out. Sam starts to reminisce.
Sam: They were the days. Nothing like giving a toddler a good, hard kick in the nuts.
The door to the shop opens and in walks a man with his 3 year old son. Sam looks speechless.
Man: Hi!
Sam starts running towards the 3 year old screaming and raises his foot ready to kick him in the testicles, but the scene abruptly ends before contact is made.
