British Comedy Guide

Coronavirus Page 45

The Countess of Wessex is "secretly" volunteering alongside professional chefs to make lunches for NHS staff battling the coronavirus, according to a headline in the Daily Mail.

Indeed, there are photographs to prove that Sophie is doing something a kitchen while wearing a face mask.

Apparently, she's been working one day per week under the watchful eye of somebody who used to be a chef for Elton John.

The fact that it's on the front page of the Daily Mail does, however, make me wonder just how secret her selfless action actually is, and who tipped off the press about it?

Hmmm.

(Oxford) Scientists hail game-changing immunity test: Government orders 50 MILLION:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8257233/Government-orders-50million-game-changing-immunity-tests.html

It's a miwacle. Having worked in Westminster for 25 years, I have so far managed to hold partially to the dictated lines while retaining huge scepticism. I know from my time there that most efforts by politicians were genuine and I heard conspiracies which had absolutely no substance. But I have been away from the place for nearly 10 years. It had become a bit dodgier from around 2001. Much worse in 2010. Now I expect it is an entirely different beast. More dictatorial. Less strong. Far more easily dictated to by global big business. And I think I may have had enough. In fact, I know I have.

I comply with what we are required to do. I have no criticism of individual MPs. But I can't really believe any more that they are in charge of world affairs. There's a thousand unanswered questions, many of which have been raised here. But I think one might start at this point by enquiring just how many people from Oxford or Imperial or the US and European labs have ever worked in the Wuhan one. I bet it is hundreds. Many are, what shall we say, sponsored by external parties.

That question won't be asked. It wouldn't be answered. But the entire shebang has crashed so far as my belief systems are concerned. I fear that the global billions are in the hands of strategically destructive, psychologically disturbed and economically grasping liars. Whatever happens next, it has all changed for ever. There is no way that it can ever continue with any trust from real democrats of which I am one. Liberty has also been impeded - swung from one extreme right across to the other. And then there is physical health. No health service in the world has been protected or saved as you would have to be a total fool now to believe in any diagnosis you are personally given in the future if there is a future.

They can impose their new frameworks and they probably will do, including in some ways on me. But I'm not so bothered if I'm here for another 5 years or another 30 years now. There really doesn't seem now to be a lot of point to longevity other than to be bloody minded. Luckily I am safe and not potentially a revolutionary. But unluckily more will be than they know. There could easily be tanks on the world's streets far beyond China very soon. All will be doing a Tiananman.

I've always thought politicians were puppets of big business.Even the lefties know when to toe the line.
ie: The NHS was that created to help the general welfare of the population as a whole or just to ensure a healthy work force for the rebuilding of commerce after the war?(Rhetorical question)

I hope none of those millions raised by that war veteran chap will go towards the six figure salaries of all those NHS bosses. Who am I kidding that is the first place it will go to. £300k a year for a 12 hour week? You're hired!

I was shocked and disgusted by a headline in the Daily Mail today about a couple whose car had been seized by police because they went out for a drive in breach of coronavirus lockdown regulations.

However, when I read the body of the article, it transpires that the driver drove 300 miles from Kent to Cornwall without a driving licence and without insurance.

A clear case of somebody at the Mail taking an honest article and coming up with a headline that was quite simply an enormous pork pie. Laughing out loud

Quote: john tregorran @ 26th April 2020, 4:33 AM

I've always thought politicians were puppets of big business.Even the lefties know when to toe the line.
ie: The NHS was that created to help the general welfare of the population as a whole or just to ensure a healthy work force for the rebuilding of commerce after the war?(Rhetorical question)

There was the other aspect that if there hadn't been an NHS after WW2 there would have been a revolution, especially when all the food ran out as was going to happen without loans. Whitehall somehow managed to keep that quiet. So there was a post war paternal state - part forced and part benign-ish. Party leaders often had direct war experience. It gave them more sympathy and more realism. But with industry depleted it was all set up to be paid for by consumer goods.

That gave big business the upper hand. It was ok until now but they - governments across the world - have about two months to prevent pitched battles along the lines of Paris 1968. I am quite a fortune teller as I often claim. On 22 March I wrote to my MP about coronavirus and I added this: "Even grimmer, I strongly believe that North Korea is about to go". I let him decide what I meant by "go" as I didn't want to think about it. Too horrendous. Has anyone seen Kim recently?

https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article21930646.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_Rodong-Sinmun.jpg

As if the situation were not bad enough, there are now fears that the actions of all the "covidiots" are going to produce a second wave of infections and subsequent deaths.

Oh well, such is life (and death, of course).

Smurf Covid19 death toll has increased by 402,961 in the last 27 hours and the total Smurf death toll is now at 2,085,673.

Brainy Smurf has denied Papa Smurf advised taking a gunshot to the head to cure coronavirus. Brainy explained that Papa Smurf was merely smurfing whether bullets fired into the cranium could incapacitate the virus. Separately, Papa Smurf claimed his gunshot comment was actually a coded dinner invitation to Scribe Smurf.

Deaths in Over 75s, 2017, England:

Care Homes - 101,966 - 29.8%
Hospices - 12,569 - 3.7%
Hospitals - 155,899 - 45.6%

Age UK - Number of older people who died waiting for care in the absence of an adequate green policy paper between the 2017 and 2019 General Elections, England: 74,000 (81 people per day, 3 every hour)

According to the Government's own website, deaths on certificates from cancer, dementia, COPD and other major diseases are formally recognised as simplified with several diseases often being major contributory factors and/or another disease even being the main one.

So in other words:

Many current deaths in hospitals and care homes are simply being re-labelled as coronavirus
The large number of people dying in care homes which has been specifically mentioned as a problem with coronavirus is nothing new, ditto hospitals
GPs refusing to enter into care homes because of coronavirus has increased the deaths there, ditto absent care home staff
People who have been admitted to hospitals have often been so without coronavirus but arguably acquired it there

And much of all of this could have been prevented years ago, irrespective of any coronavirus.

I hear that in many places in America, health establishments are paid different sums of money according to the nature of their care before death and currently they get ten times more money if they say they were looking after someone with coronavirus rather than anything else. Consequently, they say all had coronavirus. Total scam. Is it just in America?

Millions on the roads as Britons vote with their feet and get back to work
Johnson says contain your patience, I'm not losing the gains we have made
Gates says don't attack China, they did get a lot of things right at the start

The Chinese were always suspicious of Gates and WHO but accommodated them what with virus labs and 5G and so on. Plus they saw that lizard race as promoting the Chinese way in our democratic countries as we move further into the 21st Century. Now Gates appears worried that they will be upset by political criticism which would mean they would go cold again. Meanwhile, BJ returns to sound totally in sync with the lizards and out of sync with the general public. So, yep, it is back to normal. China and the West falling out. MPs and global business aligned - and none of them in line with voters.

And how cute that Britons moved their arses in Week 6 and just when the sun stopped shining. There was always the suspicion that most of them were school kids in disguise. Now we have proof. They think the school summer holidays are over. Plus they like to follow the MPs' example where they go in for a month and then are off for four. To stay in lockdown for another few weeks would risk not having a reason to strike for every week between June and October. I expect we shall have a containment of the second wave then, especially on the trains which will safely be immobile.

As Horse has mentioned in his post above, it seems the public are (in large numbers) now rejecting lockdown as a way of spending their days.

The government is therefore faced with the choice of either arresting staggering numbers of lockdown-breakers or easing the restrictions so as to make their lawbreaking completely lawful.

It's a bit like juggling except that you use laws instead of balls.

Mind you, in many cases the law is a load of balls so perhaps it should be expected.

In today's news: "TEN tourists who drove almost 250 miles from London to Snowdonia to go mountain climbing together during lockdown are turned around and sent home by police."

Apparently, the cops stopped two cars carrying the 10 tourists in the town of Bethesda just off the A5 in North Wales. They ordered the cars to turn around and then escorted them back to the A5 and told them to go back to London, a five-hour return journey.

Seriously folks, does anybody in the world believe for a single solitary moment that those tourists didn't drive a mile or two down the A5 to the next turn-off and then take another route into the Snowdonia National Park? Laughing out loud

Dear Lord, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and a chance to kick fifty f**king tons of shit out of all those f**king wankers posting this kinda pretentious pompous limp-wristed let's-be-nice-to-each-other-make-all-the-f**king-difference-won't-it f**king shitty bollocks all over facebook the billisec this f**king shit is f**king over.

Dear Lord

I pray for Michael who is a miserable bugger

I pray he is more tolerant of others and to cheer the f**k up

Eamon!

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