British Comedy Guide

General Election 2019 Page 14

Quote: Rood Eye @ 13th December 2019, 1:16 AM

Earlier in the week, Boris Johnson arrived in Darlington having flown there in a private jet from Doncaster - which is only one hour away by train.

I think Greta needs to have a serious word with him! Laughing out loud

Preferably wielding a club with nails sticking out.

Quote: Briosaid @ 12th December 2019, 8:22 PM

I've vowed to run naked into the street if Boris loses his seat. MR. B has to film it. He's a bit horrified BUT I'LL DO IT. Will be a pleasure. And I'll shout/roar and wake the neighbours ( some of whom are standing by with canerasl)

Sounds like you can literally keep your knickers on. :)

OMG.

The party of the working classes has won.

Surely legally with this plebby sort of outcome the election has to be re-run?

Well, the Tories have been returned to government with an absolutely astonishing majority - but why?

The EU referendum resulted in an almost 50-50 split and I would have thought that, since that result was announced, very few remainers have become convinced that leaving is actually the best thing. On the contrary, I would have thought that huge numbers of leavers would have become convinced that remaining was actually the best thing.

So why the huge Tory swing? Was it really pro-Brexit or was it actually anti-Labour and, in particular, anti-Corbyn?

Or is it simply that Britain likes characterful prime ministers and hates dull ones?

The only way back for Labour appears to be a characterful leader who speaks his mind and thinks Seinfeld is the best TV show ever. In any event, while they're deliberating I hope they've got the sense to realise that a lot of traditional Labour voters won't be keen on a woman leader - much less one with a double-barrelled surname! Laughing out loud

It's a right wing press, in the main.

Labour under Corbyn have been a disaster, and it looks like they've learned nothing from the defeat and will carry on ploughing the same doomed course. Boris is, as proved during the referendum, a brilliant propogandist. He knows the kind of slop people like to be fed, regardless of its truth and yes, it helped that the right wing papers amplified and never questioned his endless lies..

Personally I think it might be the opposite, Chip, there was so much hysterical Boris baiting going on, every day there was an old quote of his being savaged in the media and there was no end of exposing his 'lies' on everything I read and watched. It seems to have spectacularly backfired in the way Trump dumping has in the US. Proof in the old theory that too much demonising will blacken the witch hunters more than the 'witches'.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 12th December 2019, 8:21 PM

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Contrary to my usual policy and all kidding aside, I'm quite worried about Diane.

Can someone take that red bag away on photoshop please? I'm dying to know if her friend is wearing Diane's other shoe. Most feminists go that way Diane, it's nothing to hide these days, you can even get married now. Kissing

Well, no, Boris is a proven liar (in his victory speech hours ago he repeated the lie about NHS recruitment). But like in America, tribal politics now supersedes everything else, and means you turn a blind eye to the wrongdoings of the people you support. In America Trump could lead young Baron out onto the White House on a dog leash, rape him repeatedly with a cucumber, and the Republicans would say it was fake news and Hilary's fault and Trump hadn't actually done that and it's the most outrageous witch hunt in history ever. We're going that way in Britain.

As for Boris, the interesting thing is up until now he's always had someone else to blame for the Brexit mess (parliament, the courts, etc). Now, with a sizeable majority, he's in complete control and owns everything that happens from now on. If Brexit fails then one of the chief architects is firmly to blame.

Since when have, quote, "joshing" and "only a wind up with a mate" just involved the serious stating of facts?

Say what you like about Jonathan Ashworth but in that private phone call with MI5 he succeeded in completely redefining humour.

Aaaaaargh!
That's my well-thought out political analysis.

It's not all bad news for Jo Swinson.

Being out of Parliament will enable her to spend a lot more time with her cannabis.

Given that the SNP now has such huge power in Scotland, it wouldn't surprise me if Nicola Sturgeon were to make a unilateral declaration of independence from the UK.

What's Boris going to do if she does? Declare war on Scotland?

That might be something of a mistake given all the U.K.'s nuclear weapons are in Glasgow.

If Boris sends the army marching north, I'll tell you one thing:

Two minutes after they cross the border, there'll be no effing London! Laughing out loud

For such intelligent people in the main, the Labour left have always had the weirdest of blind spots. They start with promising to spend money on everything under the sun. Everyone moans "how irresponsible" but secretly thinks "great - I'm grabbing that". But after that it all routinely goes pear shaped. Foot and Benn were in favour of Britain exiting Europe - tick - but aimed to leave the country defenceless - big lose.

Corbyn and McDonnell went for keeping the deterrent - tick - although they were never going to say they would use it and opted essentially for staying in the EU - big lose. Why? I will tell you the reason. The subconscious mindset of the left of Labour is that they prefer to be moral rebels opposing what those in power do rather than having power themselves. I feel a bit sad for them today. I much prefer them to Blairites.

In contrast, the Lib Dems got the kicking they deserved,

I hope it really hurt.

(To have any future, Labour now need to pitch themselves as pro Brexit and somewhere near the halfway house economics of Ed Miliband (midway between Blair and Corbyn) but with a leader who doesn't have all of Miliband's peculiarities. I suggest Lisa Nandy would be a reasonable candidate. There may be others but I can't think of any off the top of my head).

Two thoughts -

Firstly, at least it's nice that the Americans can laugh at us for a change.

Secondly, we now have a leader that trump approves of, along with Putin, Kim Jong Un and Erdogan.

For various reasons too controversial to list, a great many women have risen to political and televisual prominence in recent years.

In politics and television, women are currently very much the "in thing".

On that basis, the Labour Party might do very well to elect a female leader in the wake of the Corbyn debacle.

Kier Starmer is the red-hot favourite for the leadership but this is the age of the woman and the Labour Party might do very well to realise that.

The problem is that in politics as in many other aspects of life, a woman has traditionally been obliged to be significantly better than a man in order to stand any chance of being perceived as his equal.

It stands to reason, therefore, that when a political party elects a woman as its leader, that woman has to be something special if she is to stand any chance of leading that party to glory.

With the greatest respect to Jo Swinson, she was not and is not such a woman - and neither are the women leaders of the minor political parties.

But let's get back to the Labour Party: looking through the ranks of female Labour MPs, there aren't many who I think might stand a chance against Boris - but I do think I've found one.

It's none other than Mrs Balls, otherwise known as Yvette Cooper.

I think she could lift the Labour Party to heights unprecedented since Tony Blair was all the rage.

Of the other women candidates, the only one I wouldn't describe as a joke is Emily Thornberry - but even she isn't a patch on Mrs Balls in terms of voter appeal.

If the Labour Party has even the slightest clue about how to win a general election, they'll make Yvette Cooper leader.

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