British Comedy Guide

General Election 2019 Page 10

It would help if an awful lot of what they said (or every single thing in Trump's case) wasn't demonstrably a lie or untruth. But it's good to know you've drunk the Kool Aid, Billwill.

During the course of modern British history, there haven't been many party leaders who could stand up to a grilling by somebody of Andrew Neil's calibre.

However, I have to say Nigel Farage was more than a match for Andrew. In fact, he handled his repeated attacks with all the aplomb of Bruce Lee dealing with the local tough guy in any of his many films.

Neither Nigel nor his politics, are everybody's cup of tea, of course, but it can hardly be denied that he has more prime ministerial qualities in each of his little fingers than the other English party leaders have in their entire bodies.

Yeah it's a lot easier when you have got zero chance of getting into number 10

Quote: Briosaid @ 1st December 2019, 9:26 PM

We:'ve had a visit from the LibDem man and leaflets from him, Labour and SNP. Typically, the lazy Tories and the mad UKIP woman, are invisible.

All campaigns have budgets, the Tories have no chance of winning Glasgow seats and are more likely to get assaulted. It's as pointless as the SNP canvassing in Cornwall. Of all the leaflets put through the door so far the Libdems has been by far the biggest and glossiest. Full of crap in the promises but it shows they are seriously targeting seats in the south. My guess is they're not really after power but stopping the Tories getting Brexit through by taking just enough seats and promoting tactical voting.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 7th December 2019, 9:39 AM

My guess is they're not really after power but stopping the Tories getting Brexit through by taking just enough seats and promoting tactical voting.

Good luck to them and their attempts to bring down the shambling gormless Brexit giant! It's the David and Goliath contest all right thinking people can get behind.

You mean left thinking people surely.

If the polls and the bookies are anywhere near correct in their predictions of the outcome, Boris is pretty much home and dry with an overall majority.

Strangely, however, the Tory press is going for Jeremy as though he's the devil incarnate who, if allowed to form a government, will immediately eat every child in Britain.

They clearly think he has a serious chance.

I think maybe it's the policies they think could be popular with a lot of voters, not Corbyn as a leader. They are promising an awful lot to people fed up with being ripped off by rail and utility companies. Attacking the leader is a way of putting them off being enticed by these radical reforms, reminding them they will come with a mad lefty at the helm who dislikes his own country.

The EU ref result showed us that a lot of traditional Labour voters are also quite proudly British unlike the rabble of leading Labour MPs who blame Britain for the terrorism and are more concerned with minorities and diversity now. Labour has swung radically to being a PC obsessed anti capitalist shower leaving millions of its working class males behind, the very people the Labour Party was created for.

Alfred do you post from behind sandbags?
As for you grasp of labour history in relation to its raison d'etre, it is below child like.

I too partly blame Britain for the terrorism of recent years

When I was growing up in the 70's, 80's, 90's there was no such thing as Islamic terrorists blowing people up and stabbing people and driving vans into crowds on the streets of the UK

It was only after we helped invade and blow the f**k out of Islamic countries with the Yanks that it all started

But it was a Labour government that was in power at the time

So as a Labour voter myself I partly blame the British Labour government for the terrorism

And you can't just blame that prick Blair, his colleagues could have stopped him if they had any guts/morals

Quote: Rood Eye @ 7th December 2019, 10:41 AM

They clearly think he has a serious chance.

Not really.
What they do fear is a low Tory turn-out, with people thinking he's a shoe in, so why bother - especially if it's shitty weather & the wrinkly vote is less likely to stagger down the polling station.
So you get your newspaper mates to make out it's all to play for.
Devious buggers.

Apparently, there is a plot to oust Boris from Parliament at the forthcoming election.

He had a majority of about 5000 at the last election and some shrewd Labour activists have realised that if they can persuade the Liberal Democrats not to field a candidate at this election, Labour have a very good chance of winning the seat.

It seems Jo Swinson has already been approached with the idea but has not yet responded.

If the plot is successful, I believe it will be the first time ever that a British Prime Minister has lost his/her seat at a general election.

Has he ever even been to his constituency?

I am not religious but am seriously considering getting on my knees every night to pray that f***er Johnson loses his seat. Maybe I'd be better looking up a spell book. It would really make my year.

I'm absolutely sickened by it all. I've shifted in the past few days from Tory with deep regrets to abstain. I've never abstained and I don't want even bigger idiots - or even evil - getting in. Back in the 80s I was bright - hey even when I was 10 in 1973 all the kids thought I was and with the angle that he can't be weird cos he gets on so well with us and seems so normal and isn't all high and mighty - and there was total respect even if I didn't want it and was total shit at football.

Then I passed exams and ended up with the Camerons, Blairs and Johnsons. Some were hurtful. Mostly I was on tranquillisers at 12 because of a sense of this is not what I know. Later at university, this was beaten in a more regular scenario. Full acceptance - mostly because I was thinking I was Arthur Askey meets Paul Weller and behaved in that way. They expected a 3rd from me. Actually - they were well pissed off at being equal to an insecure clown - I got the 2 : 1 that they did, Then they succeeded in the workplace being highly motivated by their massive egos and money and I didn't, being seen to be a clown in my work which I welcomed and I didn't. Anyhow, politics was all around it. I mixed with the great and the good and had the more interesting experiences. I didn't know it then but I was always in life for the stories which don't pay. I got a lot from those and my life was culturally rich in failure. If you look for pay, you have already lost

My parents were very low brow steady. Old ethics. Politics was hardly on their agenda. I got stuff there. If the world is too loopy you can come back to us, Both with each other for ever, Dad comedic although as personality and not in the sense of seeing it money making. Mum driven, organised, an amazing memory, emotionally sensitive while practical, All my mates wanted to come round not so much for me but preferring her to their Mums. And we all looked up - looked up - to the powerful., politically or otherwise, for we knew that if we didn't respect them without question we would be in jail or lost. And very early on - from the time that I won a free place to an independent school I was caught between the security of knowing that was true and the obvious impressions on me that It wasn't true. This has lived with me throughout life.

While conflicted and it mucked up my life for all time, I am kind of glad that the belief continued on. Because if that idea of the influential having been inferior to us had ever got into my head so that there was no one to believe in and latch onto I would have probably killed myself at 27. For all of my abilities and strengths I always wanted a Mummy and a Daddy. Not necessarily them as I has left them but some sense of security and perfection only in some some ways even better, Yet there's nothing is there when the trollops are on drugs or were and yet laying down the law. When their own kids are texting them distantly from their bedrooms to the lounge. When they drive like they want to kill the disabled pedestrian who gets in their way, When they go "oh now the kids have left home, I hate you". F**k off. How many years were you lying to me?" And how indifferent are you to my psychological breakdown? Totally - and you enjoy it. So glad I didn't marry. God knows why gays insisted on the right except that many, not all, are gluttons for mind game punishment,

Because in those days we would not have been able to use the word paedophilia, let alone expected it of celebrities, politicians and ultimately links to royalty. To have heard that someone was smoking cannabis would have been tantamount to the former rather than "oh, hi, I'm the Lib Dem leader, bollocks off". Pre knifings on every night, I had a concept of what was dangerous to me. I thought I was weird about it. It was that I would wall into somewhere and someone would call me a pouffe. No reason for it at all, I don't come across as gay. I probably wasn't ever gay. But when it came to fear what the pleasant, delicate mind could never go to was the really rough stuff of aggravation, physical confrontation and spite. This is how people were and more so and they are even more so now in big spade loads.

Thank Christ I never got married. Divorce in a year. And, of course, we muct accept now that the black man likes of Gil Scott-Heron and Marvin Gaye were just a bit too intellectual and caring and able to access teens with concern for their own good All a bit wordy and non knifey. Sod that. Ban the drill video so that old people as my Nan would have been in this era doesn't have to step over spilled blood in order to buy four oranges, And if Cambridge University disagrees, then just shut the whole tripe down, Just ban it. Ban Cambridge University on the grounds of remote insanity so that we normal people can get on with our lives . ISIS if you want to. ISIS and I am, the gentleman, not for turning in this election. This piece was written by me and my teddy bear who came into my life in a huge way in 2017. I can cuddle it. Sadly. it can't cuddle me. Thst is Amazon for you. But it did ring up on my behalf during the last week to say that my head had ratcheted off my neck and was lying on the floor. He was just passed glibly to the flu case heavy A and E. "Is it an emergency?".

What is the most special of these totally outstanding works of these brilliant and eduational gentlemen are the family references. I know Gaye had his issues as did Gil. I respected Gaye but I really really loved Gil and saw him live twice:

Marvin Gaye - What's Going On - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-kA3UtBj4M

Gil Scott-Heron - Pieces of a Man - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKghze-Vf1o

While American, his Dad was the first black man to play for Celtic. Not a lot of people know that or these songs:

Just before his death, irony in his genius:

I'm New Here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eV_astp3BjM

And at the other end of the life spectrum, though not necessarily as it could easily be an older person's song - and it probably is. few know this and I find its magnificence, how lucky were we, breath taking : it's almost god like to me, this

Beginnings - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvHNmx41fo0

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