Glad that's over.
PS At Christmas.
Gold Christmas Crackers joke competition Page 2
Quote: Rood Eye @ 16th October 2019, 5:11 PMLast year, I went to a brilliant Christmas party: it was held in a huge room and the organisers had pinned a sprig of mistletoe to the ceiling at one end of the room and a box of Paxo to the ceiling at the other.
And all the girls who wanted kissing went to one end of the room.
And all the girls who wanted a turkey sandwich went to the other.
I defy anybody to make a complaint about that joke!
I would make a complaint because it's not even a joke.
Quote: Chappers @ 29th October 2019, 11:31 PMI would make a complaint because it's not even a joke.
"And true comedy fans came, and said unto me, Why speakest thou unto them in parables? I answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of my comedy, but to them it is not given."
(Especially on UKTV Gold at Christmas)
Quote: Rood Eye @ 29th October 2019, 11:47 PM"And true comedy fans came, and said unto me, Why speakest thou unto them in parables? I answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of my comedy, but to them it is not given."
(Especially on UKTV Gold at Christmas)
Pretentious twat!
What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo at Christmas? A woolly jumper, at Christmas.
Quote: Chappers @ 30th October 2019, 6:12 PMPretentious twat!
Amen to that - you noticed then, like many others.
At Christmas.
I watched a christmas carol again this year. My has she grown.
I think you put it in a turkey, then a duck, then a pheasant, then a guineafowl, but at the Bullingdon they just go the whole hog.
Quote: Bekka @ 25th November 2019, 10:22 PMI think you put it in a turkey, then a duck, then a pheasant, then a guineafowl, but at the Bullingdon they just go the whole hog.
'Sow the cookie crumbles.
PS. I bet the Gold Christmas Crackers joke competition hasn't got gems like this! 
Did anybody have any luck with this?
If I understand the rules correctly, winners will be notified on or before this coming Thursday.
When the competition is over, winners and non-winners alike will get the huge bonus of being able to unfollow Gold and thus stop receiving all the gold-related crap that's been flooding into their Twitter inboxes for the past weeks.
Monkhouse has cracked the formula:
Why did Prince Andrew step back from his royal duties? So he could spend more time with the children, at Christmas.
Was Prince Andrew nervous when dressing for Christmas? No, because he's not a Christmas sweater.
Why does Prince Andrew fly to Jeffrey Epstein's house for Christmas? Because it's too far to walk.
What did Virginia Giuffre leave the photo counter at Boots at Christmas? Because her prints already came. Three times.
What does Prince Andrew order for Christmas lunch? Minor stuffing.
Did Prince Andrew study public speaking for Christmas interviews? No, he was elf-taught.
Why was the Christmas band leader expelled by Prince Andrew? Because he conducted himself in a manner unbecoming.
What do you get if you cross Prince Andrew with a duck at Christmas? A Christmas quacker.
Etc.
Christmas.
Ok so no notification from Gold for me. Any winners?
Quote: BTF @ 5th December 2019, 12:19 PMOk so no notification from Gold for me. Any winners?
Don't give up hope, BTF: Thursday isn't over yet!