I've been struggling for ideas for sketches this week. Pretty damn bad in fact! Haven't written one since Monday, but I came up with a vague idea today. Below is a rough sketch I came up with earlier. I'd be interested to see whether people I should push on with it or if anyone wants to collaborate on it. I must stress that it's a work in progress at the minute.
Chocolate Factory sketch
Int. Chocolate Factory
Mr Reynolds is standing in the centre of a factory with his assistant next to him. A collection of people - line managers - are stood in front of him. Everyone is wearing white overalls and hairnets. The line managers are murmering to each other.
Mr Reynolds: People, people! Please! Now, some of you probably know what this meeting is about, but I’ll explain it for those that are unaware. Now, we, are the biggest manufacturer of chocolate in the country. Recently, though, we have been slipping up in certain areas. Risk of contamination, FOR EXAMPLE.
Mr Reynolds clicks his fingers and his assistant hands him a tray of chocolates.
Mr Reynolds: Now, who would like a chocolate?
Line Manager #1 steps forward.
Line Manager #1: I’m head of quality, man. I know that everything produced here is perfect, ok. Don’t go trying to scare the team with your chat.
Line Manager #1 eats one of the chocolates and spits it out almost instantly.
Line Manager #1: Uggggh. That’s disgusting. Absolutely vile. It tastes like.... Well... All I can describe it as is like a portrayal of...death?
Mr Reynolds: Exactly! And d’you know why? Well I’ll tell you. (Shouts) Lads!
Two men carry in a stretcher which they place on the floor. Something is on the stretcher but concealed by a sheet. Mr Reynolds unveils a corpse which is wearing all white clothes and has chocolate stains all over him.
Line Manager #2: Oh sweet Jesus, no! It’s a.....
Mr Reynolds: Yes! It’s the corpse of a mime.
Line Manager #3: But, but, but, we’ve got guidelines put in place to stop this.
Mr Reynolds looks at Line Manager #1.
Mr Reynolds: Yes, we have haven’t we.
Line Manager #1: It’s a plant! It’s a plant I tells you!
Line Manager #2: No it’s not, it’s a bloody mime. Well, a chocolately mime. A chocolately bloody mime.
Mr Reynolds: Stop arguing. The main thing is that we get quality back on track. My balls are on the line and believe me they’d much rather be swinging free. We need to get standards back up.
Random Line manager: Agggghhhhhh! Look!
Everyone looks over at vat no.2 where various street entertainers have gathered and are performing around it whilst others peer in the vat. The action cuts back to Mr Reynolds.
My Reynolds: Oh for..for f**ks sake.
Mr Reynolds pulls off his hairnet and storms off.
