SCENE:
A drone flies slowly over the sleepy Scottish village of Loch Angry as its snow-covered roofs shimmer thanks to the contrasting dark grey of the mountainous back drop and the cold back water of the loch which is enhanced in its depth of colour by the contrast of its snowy banks.
The drone follows a man in a three -cornered hat who is carrying a cat as he tramps through the snow to a wooden church hall
Sign on Church Hall door
Loch Angry Panto Rehearsals
The seats are empty, and the cast is on stage rehearsing and the vicar is clearly the producer
VICAR
Now remember every time you say London there will be boos so don't let it put you off
The man in the 3- corner hat shouts up to the stage
MAN
I've got the cat
VICAR:
Good man McFergus were did you get it from?
MAN
I took the Wednesday ferry to Loch Isle
VICAR
Did you tell them what we wanted it for?
MAN
What do you take me for? I would have never gotten out of there alive
VICAR
Ok people gather round, now we have at least got the cat, so now surely one of you will play Dick Whittington?
A selection of voices rings out.
I'd rather play Fred West!
I'll not play the Lord Mayor of London, nor will I live under the boot of his ancestors
This is too controversial vicar I have bairns to worry about
Why can't we do Braveheart again?
VICAR
How many times we're not doing Braveheart again!
