DIRECTOR GENERAL : Look it's no good. We've got to make some cut backs. Not unless we can double the price of the TV license.
MP : I'm sorry - that's just not possible. We get enough flack about the price as it is now.
DIRECTOR GENERAL : Well something's got to give.
MP : How about you drop some of the Digital Radio stations?
DG : What? No way. That's public service broadcasting.
MP : But BBC 29. Listening figures last week were 6.
DG : Blimey - that's good. So you want to disappoint those 6 people?
MP : And a vast amount of your budget last year was spent on Taxis ferrying staff and guests to and from the studios.
DG : Do you want people to think we're cheap skates?
MP : Well - do you have any better suggestions?
DG : Yes. We're going to lay off 2,800 members of staff.
MP : What? The unions won't allow it.
DG : There will be compulsory redundancies and increased workloads.
MP : But that could mean some people having to work 6 hours a week.
DG : And it means we'll have to axe programmes like Top Gear.
MP : Oh well - it's not all bad then.
DG : And also - we'll sell off Television Centre.
MP (SPLUTTERING) : You can't do that! Television Centre IS the BBC.
DG : But it's a millstone - and think of the money we can get from the sale of it.
MP : So where will you film all your TV shows?
DG : Well you know all those Taxis we use.................