Criminal idiot Fredo Garfunkel is back in the hands of the plod
CID:
Fredo we know for a fact that you have started shifting stolen CO/2 canisters all over the manor
FG:
Not me guv I don't even know what that is? I was shit at geography in school ?
CID:
Very droll Fredo, however I have remarkable CCTV of your good self at The Dragon on Peters Lane . This footage, in full colour I may add, clearly shows you bringing in two very large cylinders and shaking hands with the landlord . One Tommy The Ponce Potter. You then leave without the cylinders and counting money
FG:
Even if it was why doing a bit of ducking and diving? Why the heavy mob for a few bottles of gas? I'm mean I know there's a shortage but come on, you lot have got to be The Serious Crime Squad at the very least? Whats up are the soda siphons at the yard empty ?
CID
Where did you get the gas Fredo ?
FG:
None of your business ? They weren't stolen, I paid for them , all I did was change the labels and that's a civil matter, trading standards at best !
CID:
Well thanks to your re-branding Tommy The Ponce unknowingly put Helium instead of Co2 into his lager and what we now know to be Nitrous Oxide into his bitter!
FG:
So what he can sue me, its a civil matter I checked
CID:
Earlier today at the Dragon Tommy the Ponce and 9 of the lager drinkers heads began to expand and instead of calling for help the bitter drinkers we're too busy laughing .
FG
I bet that was hilarious
CID:
Tommy's dead Fredo and so are 11 others, 8 of which no longer have heads and the other poor sods laughed themselves to the point that they died of internal injuries. You asked who we were? Well we're the Murder Squad Fredo and this time its the big one, you'll get Life for this !
FREDO:
What about the £24 I made? Will I have to give that back as well?