Newsjack FAIL

So, I saw folk talking 'Newsjack' on here. This was a FAIl, no reply. ALL BEST, Mat

CHARITY

MONARCH EXECUTIVE

Clarence House, London, a Drawing Room

HARRY: ...look Wills, we all have our passions. Run through yours again, but more slowly this time.

WILLIAM: Well, by tradition, Harry, the heir to the throne always champions the elephant and safari rights. I'm thinking to add the white rhino to my portfolio. Do you have any objections?

HARRY: No, carry on.

WILLIAM: And white chaps in the safari jackets.

HARRY: Yis, as ever my brother.

WILLIAM: Yes, If we channel HMRC, GB to grant a half billion going forward in thought leadership we...

HARRY: One moment. That would run consecutive with Racal Defence Systems, the flushing waters for India appeal?

WILLIAM: Yes, absolutely.

HARRY: Okay, and I will do my Olympic Games.

WILLIAM: Harry, you can't just do your Olympic Games every year, Harry.

HARRY: But god, I love my charity, William.

DOOR OPENS

CATE: Harry! Husband.

HARRY: Oh hello, Cate, Meghan. I didn't hear you float on in. How was the yoghurt peel?

CATE: To business Harry, Harry, we all love charity, Harry. Let me be the first to say I think the world knows we love charity. And why I, look here, I personally designed these gorilla socks and mittens in association with my Misty Mountains Foundation. Are they not wonderful little socks?

WILLIAM: Scent is divine, Pipsy, Bless your monkey gland scientist. Are they French socks? They look French like Lentheric.

CATE: Yes Wills, all your socks are French.

WILLIAM: Really, I always imagined British socks.

CATE: My other charity will be the babies of course, my charity this time of every year. I'm calling it my babies at bedtime bicycle appeal.

HARRY: Nice one Cate, smoking out the Baker-wallah, nice work. I say Meghan, have you put on weight since last Tuesday...night, Meghan?

MEGHAN: Put your hand away, Bear, you'll get your porridge.

WILLIAM: Ew

KATE: Sickening

MEGHAN: If you don't mind, Catherine.

For my charity I will spearhead the grey squirrel trust, a project entirely of my own recreational conceptiontude. Here, see my Powerpoint display. Servants, bring me the powerpoint. I give you The Grey Guy of the Woods

WILLIAM: What's that little flag he's waving?

MEGHAN: Next slide. So, whaddya think?

ALL: Ehmm

MEGHAN: What? Come on guys,

HARRY: Ehmm

WILLIAM: But you were so perfect for the Panda.

MEGHAN: Harry!

END

Newsjack is for radio, so you need to set the scene with an introduction that sets up the story. 'Clarence House, London, a Drawing Room' doesn't do this. I'm afraid that I didn't find anything funny in the dialogue either.

Thanks Will

My belief was that a drawing room is like or similar to a lounge in the big houses of London. In second draft I would insert a tick of a clock tocking as an aural soundgarten, or Big Ben's bong is heard really faintly, or even several horses trotting beyond. But its gone now and they BBC don't want it.

Walking to the shop I was musing to introduce other effects, a humorous squeak/whoopee cushion between each spot of the dialogue - which might distract from any minor dialogue weakness you perceived and embolden my write as a work of the new progressive comedy theatre. I'would workshop it first.