Please laugh that I've posted 3 things to crit in 2 days! I did point out, though, that it has taken me 49 years to write 3 sketches so don't beat me. I'm a slow worker. A longer, more grovelling appology can be viewed on my effort called the EX Factor and Don't inhale. And while you're there.........
Nursery food.
SCENE OPENS TO A COOKERY/LIFESTLE SET ON A DAYTIME TELEVISION SHOW. THE WOMAN PRESENTER IS STANDING BEHIND A COUNTER BOUNCING A BABY ON IT AS IF IT WAS DANCING. SHE IS LAUGHING AND THE SCENE IS ONE OF CONTENTMENT. SHE PLACES THE DISTINCTIVLY DRESSED BABY IN A LITTLE CHAIR ON THE WORK TOP FOR THE AUDIENCE TO SEE. SHE LOOKS TO CAMERA AND BEGINS TO TALK.
WOMAN. Good morning and welcome to Today’s Homes, the lifestyle show that really tells you how to run your life. And this is Tommy. Say hello Tommy. Look at his cute little outfit. LAUGHS AS SHE SHOWS IT OFF. And Tommy is going to be helping me with today’s really important subject of baby food and nursery buffets for those very special occasions.
SHE STROKES THE BABY’S CHEEK AND GIVES HIS ARM A GENTLE PINCH.
WOMAN. Look at how bonny this little chap is. His skin is soft and glowing with vitality and that’s down to what you feed him, ladies and gentlemen. You get out what you put in.
SHE PICKS UP A BOTTLE AND STARTS TO FEED THE BABY AND THEN CALLS OVER AN ASSISTANT.
WOMAN. Sarah, can you take him away and deal with him, please?
SARAH WALKS IN AND CARIES OFF CHAIR CONTAINING BABY.
WOMAN. As I just said, and I can’t over emphasise this point, it really does pay to feed your baby well. Babies growth rate will be impressive and you’ll be the envy of your friends.
SARAH WALKS BACK ON WITH CHAIR SLIGHTLY TURNED AWAY SO YOU CAN JUST SEE A BIT OF BABIES BRIGHT OUTFIT. PUTS IT DOWN ON COUNTER AND WOMAN LEANS IN, REMOVES OUTFIT AND PUTS IT DOWN ON COUNTER
WOMAN, We won’t be wanting that just now.
WOMAN LEANS INTO CHAIR AND PULLS OUT A SUPERMARKET PREPARED CHILLED CHICKEN (THEY LOOK JUST LIKE A BABY WHEN YOU HOLD THEM UP!) AND DOES THE SAME LITTLE DANCE WITH IT.
WOMAN. See what I mean, you get out what you put in. I love kids and, yes, they do take a little longer to cook but they’re really worth it.
