British Comedy Guide

Aww, shoot. Let's bang on about guns. Try to stay on target. Page 13

Quote: Statesman Dave @ 4th April 2018, 11:42 PM

America's a police state where cops can do whatever they want

Quote: DaButt @ 4th April 2018, 11:55 PM

Not even remotely true.

Quote: Statesman Dave @ 4th April 2018, 11:42 PM

And the UK isn't.

Nor's that.

If the UK wasn't a police state then we could take the land back from the thieves whole stole it.

Quote: Frankie Mildly Perturbed @ 5th April 2018, 10:50 AM

If the UK wasn't a police state then we could take the land back from the thieves whole stole it.

Who? William The Conqueror or the Vikings or Julius Ceasar? All have been dead for some time, sorry.

Couldn't someone just slip the word "water", in the appropriate parts of your constitution Da Butt ? Water guns are a great deal of fun. Then these reports of black youths being shot in the back for looking dangerous from hundreds of meters away, how dangerous is a water pistol ? You could soak the thief in dye so the police have a trail to follow, a dye that's hard to remove. Police line ups would start to look like collections of Smurfs. Homeowners could have water cannons, imagine the fun. :)

Quote: DaButt @ 2nd April 2018, 6:25 PM

Interesting. That makes a case for the futility of knife bans and additional legislation, since they don't appear to be working. Something needs to be done about the individuals, not the weapons. What would make a good kid decide to become a murderer?

It must be bravado and pride that is magnified by these online groups that will include girls and boys and of course boys have to look tough in front of the girls. I don't know how they work but there are apps popular with school kids that they use to send messages and share stuff between private groups. I think there is even a website that lets you send content to friends that expires after a certian time and is deleted from the host servers. Not sure if that is 100% accurate but if it is that is the first thing that needs to change so everything is traceable.

Quote: Statesman Dave @ 4th April 2018, 11:42 PM

I don't need that as a concrete example. The difference is simple. America's a police state where cops can do whatever they want, from shooting innocent people to arresting people for giving food or money to the homeless, to arresting kids for burping in class. And the UK isn't. Good.

I feel sorry for the old boy and hopefully he's sat with a nice up of tea with his solicitor and he'll be back home soon and rightfully seen as the real victim. But cops can't just take whatever someone tells them whether they believe it or not. They have to follow procedure. Otherwise we'd have a society like this:

"I've just killed someone in my house. They were an intruder."

"Oh no problem. There's no need for evidence or forensics or anything. Just scrub really hard. That blood can be tough. Goodbye".

:D

It's amazing there are people who are 'outraged' and don't realise the police have a procedure. I would imagine during an incident like this they will start with murder as it can always be reduced to manslaughter or aquitted later. He hasn't even been charged with anything yet and todays Mirror's front page headline is "Fury As OAP Held For Killing Burglar". I would be interested to know who they are referring to because knowing the Mirror they probably just had a quick look at Twitter or some other social media.

It sounds like he disturbed two burglars and one marched him in to the kitchen while holding a screwdriver and a struggle broke out resulting in a single, fatal stab wound. If that is how it happened and due to the fact that it was only one stab wound I doubt he will be charged with murder. Even if the police can see it was self decence they might be compelled to bring a manslaughter charge just so it can go through the motions of aquittal in a court rather than not bringing any charges. Can we get a sweepstake going?

Yes, obviously US police have procedure which is - if there's a black man in front of them, just shoot! To hell if he's 'armed' with a mobile phone.

As to the pensioner, he's out on bail and they can't have him for murder as it would have had to be premeditated which it obviously wasn't.

Quote: DaButt @ 4th April 2018, 8:22 PM

I feel sad for the homeowner, his family, and the family of the dead man, but I won't shed any tears for the criminal who broke into the old man's house. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Not sure how it works in the UK, but here in the States the dead man's accomplice would likely be charged with his murder, since he died during the commission of a felony.

You're not alone. I think this bloke deserves a Knighthood!

Quote: DaButt @ 4th April 2018, 11:55 PM

Not even remotely true.

How are you not a police state?

You get fined or arrested for jaywalking, you can't drink in a bar for three years after you've become an adult, you've got no employee rights, your boss can just sack you because they want to, people have been put in prison for not mowing their lawn, and even though not all American cops are corrupt, the ones that are can do whatever they want and get away with. It's been proven time and time again. A kid burps in class and the teacher gets a cop around to search and arrest him and put him in a detention centre. I won't pretend I'm a great Samaritan who feeds or gives money to the homeless but if I want to I should be able to. It's my money that I work for and I shouldn't be dictated about it. There might be an old person I feel really sorry for or I might have been homeless myself and know what's it like. It's pathetic that it's illegal in so many states. And let's not forget the banning of those dangerous kinder surprise eggs with the toy inside.

I can criticize the UK about certain things just like any country, but I'm still glad we're not America and I can feel safe to talk to a cop like a mate without being scared of farting.

Gawn yersel, Dave. Have to say the USA is the last place I'd visit - well, maybe not Chad or Syria.:D

C'mon guys this isn't comedy...got a couple of joke's though....
OJ Simpson
Bill Clinton
I say I say

Quote: Briosaid @ 5th April 2018, 7:24 PM

Yes, obviously US police have procedure which is - if there's a black man in front of them, just shoot!

Not even close, but don't let the facts get in the way of your preconceived notions.

Quote: Chappers @ 5th April 2018, 9:35 PM

You're not alone. I think this bloke deserves a Knighthood!

I'd definitely buy him a few beers if our paths ever crossed.

Quote: Statesman Dave @ 5th April 2018, 9:54 PM

You get fined or arrested for jaywalking

An arrest would be almost impossible, but fines make sense if some moron decides to jump out in the middle of traffic, against all common sense.

Quote: Statesman Dave @ 5th April 2018, 9:54 PM

you can't drink in a bar for three years after you've become an adult

It's a stupid law and it'll be gone immediately if/when we ever bring back the military draft. It wasn't always 21 - I was drinking legally at 18 in the 1980s. Anti-drinking groups persuaded the government that it would save lives and the nascent nanny state decided that they needed to "do something" to save lives. Sort of like the modern anti-gun measures, really.

Quote: Statesman Dave @ 5th April 2018, 9:54 PM

your boss can just sack you because they want to

As it should be.

Quote: Statesman Dave @ 5th April 2018, 9:54 PM

people have been put in prison for not mowing their lawn

If I recall correctly, that was one man who was waging a 20-year battle with the city and refusing to maintain his jungle of a yard. If your neighbor decided to raise a herd of elephants in his back garden and you and your neighbors complained about the rivers of shit that flowed down the street until he was finally arrested, I could claim that he was arrested for being an animal lover. But would that really be accurate?

Quote: Statesman Dave @ 5th April 2018, 9:54 PM

even though not all American cops are corrupt, the ones that are can do whatever they want and get away with.

No, bad cops are routinely imprisoned. Have I mentioned that we have the largest prison population on the planet? That's what we do with criminals: we remove them from society.

Quote: Statesman Dave @ 5th April 2018, 9:54 PM

And let's not forget the banning of those dangerous kinder surprise eggs with the toy inside.

Want to talk about ridiculous laws? How about the fact that the knife I carry in my pocket every day would land me in prison if I were to carry it in the UK? Puny little 3.5" locking blade that I used today to open a package, cut some plastic line for my string trimmer, and open a bag of lawn fertilizer, but the UK has banned it in order to "do something" about knife crime. The last I heard you were still having a few problems...

Here's the silly little knife that I carry. Almost every American man (and Boy Scout) carries something similar. Scary, isn't it?

Quote: Statesman Dave @ 5th April 2018, 9:54 PM

I'm still glad we're not America and I can feel safe to talk to a cop like a mate without being scared of farting.

And I'm glad that I don't live in the UK where the police will haul an elderly man in on a murder charge after two armed men broke into his house in the middle of the night.

Quote: Statesman Dave @ 5th April 2018, 9:54 PM

How are you not a police state?

You get fined or arrested for jaywalking...

The fact that another country has different laws to the UK, particularly one as innocuous as jaywalking, does not make that country a "police state". No doubt for anyone truly living in a police state, jay walking is the least of their concerns.

By the same token, in the UK, you can be prosecuted & convicted for declining to bake a cake celebrating certain events with which you personally disagree - or even expressing such disagreement, you can be prosecuted with evidence for the defence concealed by the police because certain quotas set by the authorities need to be met (witness the recent collapse of a number of rape cases & FGM cases), the police themselves decide which crimes to investigate, or even to record, even though the offence in question is still on the statute books (eg certain burglaries, drug use, etc) and, because of our continued membership of the European Arrest Warrant (even after Brexit), one can be arrested & extradited without trial in the UK, at the say-so of a magistrate of another country, for an offence that doesn't even exist in the UK (eg the warrant issued by Spain for the arrest of democratically elected Catalan leaders for "violent rebellion" and "sedition").

But on the other hand; Pregnant women can piss where they like.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 6th April 2018, 10:28 AM

By the same token, in the UK, you can be prosecuted & convicted for declining to bake a cake celebrating certain events with which you personally disagree

The same thing happened here. "Hate" crime legislation is a very disturbing trend.

I read this story about a man in Wales who will stand trial for having a golliwog doll in the window of his home.

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-43645636

I wonder if they'll haul in anyone who has an Exile on Main Street album lying around?

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