Yesterday I submitted a short sketch for a crit, called Don't Inhale, and explained that I've only ever written 3. I had some brilliant feedback and thought that I might as well get the other 2 out of the way and then I can get a bit of a clearer idea. I promise that these will be the last for a while, largely based on the fact that it's taken me 49yrs to write 3. They are short,like me, and hopefully can grow, unlike me (if you don't count sideways, that is). The other one is called Nursery Food, should anyone care less and get the urge to read it 
Tra, for now and thanks.
The Ex-Factor.
SCENE OPENS TO A WAITING ROOM FULL OF THE FATALLY INJURED AND THE GENERALLY DEAD. SOME ARE SITTING QUIETLY, SOME ARE UPBEAT AND SOME CONFUSED. THE GRIM REAPER TROTS AROUND THEATRICALLY WITH A CLIP BOARD, EGGING THEM ON AND SENDING VARIOUS PEOPLE THROUGH A DOOR TO ANOTHER ROOM.
HE APPROACHES A WOMAN WITH A STEERING WHEEL EMBEDDED IN HER HEAD.
GRIM REAPER. Marsha, isn’t it?
MARSHA. What’s going on, who are you?
GRIM REAPER. WHISPERS TO HER. Let’s quickly run through your routine.
MARSHA. What routine?
GRIM REAPER IS TRYING TO KEEP HER UPBEAT AND ATTEMPTS TO TAKE HER THROUGH A LITTLE SONG AND DANCE ROUTINE. HE DOES A FEW MOVES TO DEMONSTRATE, STRAIGHTENS THE STEERING WHEEL ON HER HEAD AND PUSHES HER TOWARD THE DOOR.
GRIM REAPER. Break a leg, Marsha.
HE TURNS TO THE CROWD AND WAVES HIS ARMS EXCITEDLY.
GRIM REAPER. Big it up for Marsha. Wooo, woooo!
WEAK APPLAUSE FROM THE CROWD.
CUT TO ROOM WITH THREE JUDGES SITTING BEHIND A DESK. ONE DARK HAIRED MAN WITH LITTLE HORNS ON HIS HEAD, A WOMAN WEARS A HALO AND THE OTHER MAN IS BLAND AND QUITE.
DEVIL MAN. Hi, Marsha, we are here to represent your future potential. May I introduce you to, Good..
HE SMILES AND INDICATES TO THE WOMAN SITTING BESIDE HIM. SHE NODS AND WAVES
DEVIL MAN CONTINUES. Bad, that’s me.
HE GRINS, PROUDLY AND GIVES A LITTLE WAVE THEN POINTS TO THE BORED LOOKING MAN BESIDE HIM.
DEVIL MAN (jokes). And, that’s Ugly.
GOOD AND DEVIL MAN CHUCKLE NAUGHTILY.
DEVIL MAN. No, sorry, he’s Purgatory.
PURGATORY GIVES A TIRED WAVE.
GOOD. And, Marsha, what are you going to be doing for us, today?
MARSHA. But what about my life, don’t you judge me on that?
GOOD AND DEVIL MAN CHUCKLE AND PURGATORY LOOKS BORED.
DEVIL MAN. No, we don’t do it like that anymore. We give the pubic what they want, these days.
MARSHA. But I’ve fostered children, raised money for charity, I’ve ….
DEVIL MAN. Sounds like this is one for you, Purg.
PURGATORY LETS OUT A BIG SIGH.
MARSHA SHUFFLES ABOUT THE ROOM THEN BEGINS TO BELT OUT SOME ROCK AND ROLL.
DEVIL MAN. This one’s for me.
GOOD THROWS DOWN HER PEN IN DISGUST.
PURGATORY. Why does the Devil have all the best songs?