INT. MEETING ROOM - DAY
A group of PEOPLE sit on chairs in a circle. A SPONSOR solemnly stands up and addresses the group.
SPONSOR
Good morning, everyone. Now, I know there's been some disruption after the decision was taken to alphabetise the offices in this building, but I'm glad to see that so many of you have been able to find us, and I hope that we can help you here today. So, shall we begin?
He gestures to MAN 1, who tentatively stands up and looks around the circle.
MAN 1
Um, hello. My name's Trevor, and...I guess I'm an alcoholic--
WOMAN 1
Um, excuse me?
SPONSOR
Please, let him finish. We believe in taking it in turns to tell our stories here at the AA.
WOMAN 1
No, sorry, it's just, I think I've got the wrong room. I'm here about my car.
SPONSOR
Oh. Your car?
WOMAN 1
Yeah. I think there's something up with the brakes. I was told this was the place for the AA?
SPONSOR
Well, it is.
WOMAN 1
Ok, great, so do you know how to bleed the brakes on a 2003 Astra--
SPONSOR
No, I mean, this is the AA, but, I think you might want, y'know, the AA. They should be next door.
MAN 2
Sorry to interrupt, but when do we get to use the simulator?
SPONSOR
Excuse me?
MAN 2
I'm here for the training programme. For new pilots? I'll be flying for American Airlines.
SPONSOR
Right...So you want AA?
MAN 2
Exactly, which is where I am. So, where's the bloody simulator?
SPONSOR
Yes, I think you might need a different--
MAN 2
I was told to come to the AA office.
SPONSOR
Yes, but we're the AA.
WOMAN 1
But not the AA?
SPONSOR
Exactly. I think AA might be next door?
MAN 2
No, I just came from next door. Bloody waste of time that was.
WOMAN 1
Ooh. Were there any mechanics in there?
MAN 2
There was one, yeah, but I think he was lost. Still, he's now an affiliate member of the Architectural Association, so swings and roundabouts, I guess.
SPONSOR
Look, this is disrupting our meeting. Maybe if you just went and asked at reception?
WOMAN 1
I did ask at reception. First floor, they said, and look for the room with 'AA' on it.
There is a knock on the door. WOMAN 2 enters.
WOMAN 2
Hi, sorry to interrupt, is this the Amateur Athletic Association?
SPONSOR
Ah, no, that's the AAA. You want the second floor.
WOMAN 2
Ah, great, thanks!
SPONSOR
Although, wait, hang on, are you British?
WOMAN 2
American.
SPONSOR
Right, then you want the AAAA. Third floor mezzanine.
WOMAN 2
No, I've just been up there. All I could find was the Association of Amateur Astronomers.
SPONSOR
Well, that's no good. The AAA should be on the second floor, next to the AAA.
WOMAN 1
Do you think any of these people would be able to bleed the brakes on a 2003 Astra?
MAN 2
Did you say the American stuff was on the third floor? So AA should be there?
WOMAN 1
No, he's just said the AAAA is on the third floor mezzanine. AA are on this floor, probably next to the AA.
SPONSOR
Look, if you can all please be quiet?! This is a serious AA meeting dealing with some very difficult situations! The least you can all do is be quiet and let us help this poor man.
(to MAN 1)
Now, please, continue...
MAN 1
Right. Erm, actually, I shouldn't be here either. I work on the third floor mezzanine.
WOMAN 2
Oh, with the AAAA?
MAN 1
No, the AAAA.
SPONSOR
Well, why were you joining in with the AA meeting?
MAN 1
I didn't want to cause a fuss. I only came down here to find the supply cupboard. We need batteries.
SPONSOR
What size?
MAN 1
AAA.
EVERYONE
Second floor.
THE END
