British Comedy Guide

Beat this (?) for not what you ordered

I needed a UV security marking pen and found one that had its own built in UV light checker, which was ideal.

Flat plastic packet turns up with nothing in it.

I complain and was told another pen would be sent out first class, which it was and came this morning. Same sort of package and feeling to make sure there was a pen inside it felt like there were two, which was nice I thought - a little bit of compensation. :)

Open packet and this was inside :-

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I have no idea what it is; let alone what you do with it. I emailed the supplier again, describing it as a 7" floppy spring with a pink knob on each end.
So.....................

1/. Please can anyone identify what it is.
2/. There will be a prize for the rudest answer
and
3/. Can anyone beat it in the "Not what I ordered category"

I think Mrs Herc caught you buying something for 'Herc-time' and you're trying to drag us into it

:P

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 2nd June 2017, 11:21 AM

a 7" floppy spring with a pink knob on each end.

"

I presume with that, you've been snapped up for the next series of Embarrassing Bodies.

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"[/quote]

So you've joined the Majorettes, there's no shame in that Herc.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 2nd June 2017, 11:21 AM

...let alone what you do with it...
2/. There will be a prize for the rudest answer
"

You can stick it up your...

It's a tiny pugil stick for miniature Gladiators. Aw.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 2nd June 2017, 11:21 AM

Please can anyone identify what it is.

It's a facial hair remover.

Quote: Will Cam @ 2nd June 2017, 12:20 PM

I think Mrs Herc caught you buying something for 'Herc-time' and you're trying to drag us into it

:P

I'll deny everything.

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 2nd June 2017, 1:03 PM

You can stick it up your...

Chimney?

Quote: don rushmore @ 2nd June 2017, 2:21 PM

It's a facial hair remover.

Ouch. >_< Pubic or facial ?..............either way, ouch!

Quote: zooo @ 2nd June 2017, 1:40 PM

It's a tiny pugil stick for miniature Gladiators. Aw.

Laughing out loud

That made me think of a tiny referee talking in a chipmunk voice "contenders ready....."

It does look like one of those facial hair remover things. Try it out on your pubes, see if it works!

Quote: Davida Grimes @ 3rd June 2017, 1:49 PM

Try it out on your pubes, see if it works!

Well thanks, (ouch) now I have it totally tangled in (ouch) >_< down there and (ouch) can't find me nail (ouch) scissors. Unimpressed

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 3rd June 2017, 4:44 PM

Well thanks, (ouch) now I have it totally tangled in (ouch) >_< down there and (ouch) can't find me nail (ouch) scissors. Unimpressed

I thought you're going to send it back because it's not what you've ordered. The customer who gets it in the end is a lucky fellow!
Sick

Why would he shove it up his end?

Looks almost as grotesque as one of those "tongue scraper" products presently so fashionable in China.

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