Decided to try and submit some material for the first time ever; consequently not hugely surprised I wasn't successful.
BREAKING NEWS:
1. A Porsche belonging to former Beatle George Harrison is to be auctioned off in March. On seeing the reserve price, many potential buyers were left muttering "My Sweet Lord".
2. The BBC has been inundated with complaints from viewers that they struggled to hear the dialogue in SS-GB. A spokesman for the BBC responded saying: [mumbling sounds].
3. After Unilever rejected Kraft-Heinz's £115 billion takeover bid, President Trump has said he still wishes to encourage Unilever to build an ice cream factory in the south of America, as part of his ambition to build up Wall's in this area.
NUMBER CRUNCHING
1. £1.7M: Amount of money the Rising Pune Supergiants paid for ginger-haired cricketer Ben Stokes to play in the Indian Premier League. £1.7M: Cost of sun cream Ben Stokes will need to play cricket in India.
2. 7: Width in feet of an £855,000 property for sale in Hammersmith. 7: Length in feet of estate agent's nose when describing the property as "spacious, roomy, and definitely large enough to swing a cat."
3. 0: Number of terrorist attacks in Sweden on Friday. 0: Number of jokes submitted to Newsjack on this subject that didn't reference either ABBA or IKEA in the punchline.
My rough analysis of them was:
BN
1. Probably a bit ho-hum.
2. Best of three but probably one of a million versions.
3. Overlong given strength of payoff.
NC
1. Perhaps a bit niche.
2. Probably best of the three.
3. Topic probably done to death rather better by others.
Happy to hear any other thoughts people have.
