3 rejected Newsjack one-liners

Here are some rejected one-liners for you to rip apart. I thought they were okay. Admittedly a bit word-play based (but the show does still include punny ones sometimes). Any thoughts on how I could have honed these to make them more Newsjack friendly?

1. Theresa May in bid to strengthen relations with Chancellor Merkel. Begins taking Angela management classes.

2. Under new government proposals, tough prison sentences could be issued to anyone caught handling leaked materials. Plumbers are especially concerned.

3. Man dies hitting head on 'Wet Floor' sign. Wife sues as there was no 'Wet Floor Sign' sign.

I kind of see what you were doing with the first one, not sure if it scans 100%

I liked the second as a groaner ( which Newsjack do use) but the funny word is 'plumber' so maybe a rewording needed to put 'plumber' last, or just take out 'are especially'.

The third is a non-starter. They are not going to us a gag about a recent accidental death with someone currently arrested for it.

Thanks for your thoughts, Will.

Yeeeah, about the dead guy one. It should've been pretty obvious they would never use that one. If only he had just got a slight concussion.

First one is good and works well - nice!

Plumbers one had potential

Third one was good-ish, but they used the superior lottery winner one on the show and unlikely they'll use two jokes about suing people in one episode.

Hi Stobbart44.

Basically agree.

Think this might work slightly better but for some reason Angela/anger still doesn't work well. -

After loosing her temper with Chancellor Merkel. Theresa May is taking Angela management classes.

And in 2 i don't like the use of 'materials', it somehow stops the flow (no pun intended).

Under new government proposals, tough prison sentences could be issued to anyone caught leaking. Pensioners are especially concerned.

And i agree they were unlikely to use 3 though i liked the word play.

And as always WTFDIK anyway

Thanks for your thoughts folks. Much to chew on. I always crack silly puns and jokes but this is the first time I've ever sat down and tried to properly craft a joke. It's quite fun, even if it's not funny... yet.

It's actually very difficult and extremely subjective.