I finally managed to scrape together six last-minute one liners. No genitals or boobs in them this week. Did some on the bible, wine, jeremy kyle, magic roundabout and reverse mentors.
Good luck all.
Newsjack 2017 Page 33
Finally cracked what I believe to be a good formula for a Number Cruncher. Not a big fan of the format but had something which could actually be funny - at last!
I imagine you'll end up seeing it in the reject thread on Friday!
Best of luck everyone. Hope this is a good week for you.
Quote: tigerbailey @ 26th September 2017, 10:30 AMI sent off my one liner, only one this week as I have been too busy with other stuff. Although my one liner was about a boob too so perhaps that will be a common submission this week. Actually just seen the pizza story and there are loads of one liners for those which you never know could get in, parmesan cheese comes to mind...
Apparently, the woman in the pizza store asked for a 12 inch. And a pizza.
Sent my one-liners off for the inevitable disappointment on Thursday.
Best of luck everyone.
They're all at it now....It's the Domino's effect............awful awful my apologies!
So I was listening to last week's show and I noticed one of the oneliners -
'An artificial intelligence program has been developed whether or not someone is gay by analysing their face; it's nothing special, apparently one of the bullies at my school could do the same thing'
Thing is I recgonised it because it was is quite similar to a joke I sent a week before:
'Row over AI program that tells you if you look gay; homophobic bully's say it's stealing their jobs.'
I get that the wording of the one they used may have been better, but it's a little gutting to get to the punch a week early and miss out.
Ah well, live in hope
Quote: DeathbyMonkey @ 26th September 2017, 12:39 PMSo I was listening to last week's show and I noticed one of the oneliners -
'An artificial intelligence program has been developed whether or not someone is gay by analysing their face; it's nothing special, apparently one of the bullies at my school could do the same thing'Thing is I recgonised it because it was is quite similar to a joke I sent a week before:
'Row over AI program that tells you if you look gay; homophobic bully's say it's stealing their jobs.'I get that the wording of the one they used may have been better, but it's a little gutting to get to the punch a week early and miss out.
Ah well, live in hope
You've every right to feel gutted I think, especially since yours was clearly more topical, and a fair bit more pithy.
Quote: DeathbyMonkey @ 26th September 2017, 12:39 PMSo I was listening to last week's show and I noticed one of the oneliners -
'An artificial intelligence program has been developed whether or not someone is gay by analysing their face; it's nothing special, apparently one of the bullies at my school could do the same thing'Thing is I recgonised it because it was is quite similar to a joke I sent a week before:
'Row over AI program that tells you if you look gay; homophobic bully's say it's stealing their jobs.'I get that the wording of the one they used may have been better, but it's a little gutting to get to the punch a week early and miss out.
Ah well, live in hope
Why don't you write to them and tell them they used your joke a week later?
Regarding the pizza apparently she ordered a meat feast and then a sloppy second Guiseppe.
Quote: DeathbyMonkey @ 26th September 2017, 12:39 PMSo I was listening to last week's show and I noticed one of the oneliners -
'An artificial intelligence program has been developed whether or not someone is gay by analysing their face; it's nothing special, apparently one of the bullies at my school could do the same thing'Thing is I recgonised it because it was is quite similar to a joke I sent a week before:
'Row over AI program that tells you if you look gay; homophobic bully's say it's stealing their jobs.'I get that the wording of the one they used may have been better, but it's a little gutting to get to the punch a week early and miss out.
Ah well, live in hope
Totally understand the disappointment. I don't think the wording was necessarily better than your joke. I guess this happens as they go through 1000s each week and someone different may have looked at the second joke. It shows there is a definite element of luck and chance in this! ????
Still disappointing.
Quote: tigerbailey @ 26th September 2017, 1:28 PMWhy don't you write to them and tell them they used your joke a week later?
It's clearly a joke from someone else so no point emailing them.
I think the lesson here is, and seems to be backed up by the one-liners they've used so far this series, brevity is not your friend. It seems like a better idea to slow walk the reader to the punchline, with a clearer and longer set up. It's not surprising really, as they've got 700+ jokes to read skim through, you need them to fully grasp your joke idea, so forcing them to take a little longer to digest the joke (from the slower set-up) probably gives your joke a better chance of engaging with the reader.
Quote: BTF @ 26th September 2017, 1:33 PMTotally understand the disappointment. I don't think the wording was necessarily better than your joke. I guess this happens as they go through 1000s each week and someone different may have looked at the second joke. It shows there is a definite element of luck and chance in this! ????
Still disappointing.
Oh there's definitely luck involved - hence why it's better to extend the set-up to make the punchline clearer. I've done that this submission, we'll see if I get lucky this week
That's bad luck and a near miss, although the recorded version has an extra layer to it in my opinion as it gives the bullies a playground setting (something we can all relate to), and just a bit more backstory. No doubt you decided to pare yours back like the submission advice suggests and were left thinking WTF! @DyM I agree with your rationale in the wake of it all.
I think there could be 2000 or 3000 plus as they got 700 plus collections of one liners not 700 individual ones. A lot to wade through!
Full quota of one-liners sent this week!
I predict a lot of the monologue will cover the Labour conference.
Usual request from me - anyone there tonight, please let us know what you hear.
I wasn't at the recording, but let me guess...
Trump sketch
Corbyn sketch
Brexit sketch
A sketch featuring a cat
A sketch featuring a robot
Yep, that's about it...
Quote: Mike X @ 27th September 2017, 7:50 PMI wasn't at the recording, but let me guess...
Trump sketch
Corbyn sketch
Brexit sketchA sketch featuring a cat
A sketch featuring a robot
Yep, that's about it...
Newsjack drinking game!