British Comedy Guide

BREXIT Page 7

Nice to see Leave.Eu showing their true colours with their jingoistic xenophobic post yesterday about Germany. World War II has nothing whatsoever to do with Brexit and to constantly reference it is an insult to those who died in that war.

The right wing party Greece voted in brought up the war, almost immediately. The hard Right seem to use jeering, criticising and threats as a way of negotiating.

Quote: chipolata @ 7th October 2019, 6:32 AM

Ironically, for post-Brexit Britain to be a success you need Remainers. They're the visionaries and entrepreneurs and wealth creators. They're the dynamos that drive a successful economy. Your Brexiteers are largely low-skilled or economically inactive, only really contributing to the bit of the economy that depends on Werther's Original sales. You're welcome, Brexiteers.

:) My take on the age distinction remoaners are now jumping on is somewhat different, and this is from experience of working in an outside manual environment - most young'uns I've worked with don't know the meaning of hard work and the daily relentlessness of it really tests them. You often have to get cover for their frequent days off and eft to do jobs on their own they really struggle. I was the same myself at that age. It takes a few years to take the world of work seriously and get really good at your job.

If we are believing that all young people are remainers and older people leavers (which is daft) then I'd much rather have the graft and experience of the less young to get us through the first few years of post Brexit. God knows what would happen if left to school leavers.

Quote: Firkin @ 7th October 2019, 7:58 AM

But hey, young Remainers apparently need Brexiteers more than Brexiteers need them, apparently. Ill

They do, or nothing would get done, certainly not in the correct way.

Quote: chipolata @ 7th October 2019, 9:37 AM

Brexiteers are essentially an anchor around our necks. I'm not saying cull them, that's maybe too much, but without that 17.4 million 'fat' Britain would be a far leaner and fitter country.

:)

Quote: Lazzard @ 7th October 2019, 10:51 AM

Whichever way it goes, half the country are going to be unhappy.
Cold logic dictates it should be the half that are dying off, as they'll have less time being unhappy.
Plus there'll be plenty of medicine and salad.
Roll on the 2nd Ref!

Old Brexit voters have earned the right to that vote far more than most most younguns, they've worked for longer, achieved more, know more than young people straight out of uni who in my experience know f**k all of any use. All they're moaning about is being refused the right to travel to Europe without a visa, which is all most of them are interested in at that selfish age.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 9th October 2019, 8:21 AM

Old Brexit voters have earned the right to that vote far more than most most younguns, they've worked for longer, achieved more, know more than young people straight out of uni who in my experience know f**k all of any use. All they're moaning about is being refused the right to travel to Europe without a visa, which is all most of them are interested in at that selfish age.

Those selfish bastards, wanting to have fun and explore the world while they're young.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 9th October 2019, 8:21 AM

young people straight out of uni who in my experience know f**k all of any use.

That's an outrageous slur on the 1% of students who study useful subjects at university.

However, because it's perfectly true of the other 99%, I'm going to allow it. Laughing out loud

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 9th October 2019, 8:21 AM

Old Brexit voters have earned the right to that vote far more than most most younguns, they've worked for longer, achieved more, know more than young people straight out of uni who in my experience know f**k all of any use..

Yes, let's close down all the universities. They only produce bloody experts and who needs experts (as any Brexiteer will tell you)?

Quote: Briosaid @ 9th October 2019, 5:24 PM

Yes, let's close down all the universities. They only produce bloody experts and who needs experts (as any Brexiteer will tell you)?

Have you seem the film Idiocracy? It's about a future where dumbing down has been taken to it's logical extreme. Sadly with Brexit Britain and Trump America it now looks like a depressingly realistic documentary.

Quote: chipolata @ 9th October 2019, 5:59 PM

Have you seem the film Idiocracy? It's about a future where dumbing down has been taken to it's logical extreme. Sadly with Brexit Britain and Trump America it now looks like a depressingly realistic documentary.

No, I haven't and right now it would probably depress me even more.

LATEST BREXIT NEWS

1. PIncer

Sterling and if I might say so rapid work from my team of undercover operatives who now have their tentacles in every part of Europe from Lowestoft to Latvia,. Not only have they managed in 24 hours to alter every reference to the English Channel on Wiki to "The New Berlin Wall". They have also set up internet radio stations in every one of the EU27 countries, each called Radio Free UK. The DJs are playing Bowie's "Low" and "Heroes" on rotation, interspersed with commercials urging all hemp sandal left footers and white lace boot stompers to unite in a nudge and disrupter pincer movement.

2. Snail

We used to call this chaos theory. When I say "used to", I'm obviously not in ancient history here. It is "used to" strictly as in post Baader-Meinhoff. Anyhow, what happens in CT is the entirely unexpected. Various calls came in during the Phone Farnes-Barnes segments from people with names like "Brian the Ferret" and "John-Felicity the Polyamory Snail". And what they have spaffed up is nothing less than a thunderbolt. It turns out that the UK Government's strategy - that "what exactly has it got up its sleeve other than a few needle marks and a tattoo of Madonna?" thing which is keeping us all so, so enraptured on the rare occasions that we can be arsed - is to declare the very existence of the EU as wholly fake news.

3. Cow

Yes, that's right. The European Union never actually happened. My shadowy network which operates mostly as an army of millions in helicopters in full daylight has confirmed that the legal case for EU non existence is absolutely watertight. It is based intellectually on the principle that no human law actually exists so the EU which can only claim to exist in legal terms is pure fantasy. Ditto its predecessors the EC, EEC and the European Coal, Steel and Cow Community. Stunningly., Government lawyers will further argue that EU founding father Robert Schuman was such an intensely religious man that he was not of sane or rational mind when declaring most uncharacteristically that a political institution based in human law could ever be above God's law. And similarly, it will be proven that the Good Friday Agreement of itself does not exist because an endorsement by Clinton and Blair is simply circumstantial given the only route to God is through Jesus Christ. Well, notwithstanding God can also be found via Bowie on one of his straighter days. Every day, in truth, now he is dead.

4. Kangaroo

Excitingly I have been informed by my Knights Templar of the Chopper and Valve Wireless that the no brainer hammer blow will involve citing none other than Extinction Rebellion. Counter-intuitive? Not if when speaking of the need for proof, that is not for a self-declared Supreme Court but will just entail a five minute natter with a kangaroo. One actually that has been especially selected to be neutral. While she permanently waves a Union Jack from her neck and sings God Save the Queen every hour on the hour, she has no vested interest other than in the garden five miles outside Melbourne in which she resides. Incidentally, contrary to the Euro fakes' myth, "kangaroo" doesn't mean "I don't understand you".

5. Revelation

In what is expected to be a highly televisual moment, Tweeted around the globe, Prime MInister Johnson will advise Kanga that the conservationist goons are not only narked, They are discombobulated by the fact that their liberalism has been so successful in beating the shit out of Christianity, all it has left them to battle with is the Book of Revelation. The Book describes in the starkest terms the inevitability of the Apocalypse and it provides a splendid prophecy of the world coming to an end. Libs are saying "oh no it isn't". Only cynics could possibly call that just a near the knuckle shuffle pantomime.

6. Bulgaria

No. It is clearly now a serious war on exactly who is God. Is it God - or rather Isla, Amelia, Joshua and Jacob along with their fifteen mothers who met in the 1980s at Greenham Common? As with all questions, the true answer to this one lies in pretending the question was different. They themselves have determined rightly that one God or another is above the law. Ergo the EU does not exist and it never did. But ain't it odd how modern boys are given Bible names while the girls are a pretty face from The Generation Game and a woman who polluted the skies with her aeroplane - then crashed out. Did someone ask if I have my testicles all across Europe? Oh yes. I don't do sex but I do use them on an international stage to fight against white racism., especially vis a vis Bulgaria where football is behind behinds behind openly closed doors.

You are waisted on BCG, perhaps you should be writing the Queen's Speeches.

~~~~~~~~~

BCG does not seem to have a flag icon for NI.

WalesScotlandEnglandHuh?

Ah yes, their seams to be a problem with that: https://www.google.com/search?q=northern+ireland+flag&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiDm-3zxZHlAhUoRBUIHQD0CNwQ_AUIESgB&biw=1657&bih=677

Yes I've always been a big fan of Posts by Horseradish,
and one day I might even read one in it's entirety

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 10th October 2019, 12:08 PM

Yes I've always been a big fan of Posts by Horseradish,
and one day I might even read one in it's entirety

I suggest this one.

Quote: billwill @ 10th October 2019, 12:02 PM

You are waisted on BCG, perhaps you should be writing the Queen's Speeches.

~~~~~~~~~

BCG does not seem to have a flag icon for NI.

WalesScotlandEnglandHuh?

Ah yes, their seams to be a problem with that: https://www.google.com/search?q=northern+ireland+flag&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiDm-3zxZHlAhUoRBUIHQD0CNwQ_AUIESgB&biw=1657&bih=677

Hi. I'm Elizabeth but please do call me Lilibet. My Government will radically reform law and order by replacing the standard penalties of imprisonment, fines and community service with ones more in line with what law breakers actually want. Climate change protesters who have been unlawfully disruptive will be awarded the penalty of a lifetime personal driving and flying ban. Speeding drivers will be awarded the penalty of being required to drive their vehicles at 100mph on a race track with 71 other speeding drivers for several consecutive weekends. And fraudsters will be awarded the penalty of being required to wear suits that are made out of thousands of bank notes whether they are walking through the most dangerous parts of Hackney or simply sitting on a bus. Additionally my Government in its pursuance of progressive sexual reform will ban all non procreative sexual activity other than cuddling, handshakes, if sufficiently firm, and kissing not involving the tongue, Sadly that is as far as I have got and I am running out of time as I wasn't generously prorogued.

Since the result of the EU referendum was announced, I've never believed we'd leave the EU.

As soon as the Brexit process became problematic, I said the blindingly obvious way out of all the problems was to hold a second referendum - and if that resulted in a "remain" decision, all the problems would be solved.

I'm still thinking the same way as October 31st approaches.

Given the Machiavellian processes inherent in all high-level political activities, it wouldn't surprise me if Boris's determination to deliver Brexit were simply a face-saving and reputation-building sham. I bet he knows as well as anybody else that we're never going to leave.

On the other hand, perhaps we will leave the EU, hold a referendum, and quickly rejoin?

That would work, and the good news for Remainers would be that it'd be as if we'd never really left.

The good news for Leavers would be that we did leave - albeit only for a very short time.

And the good news for those who think democracy is so important is that we'd have left according to the democratically expressed will of the people and we'd have rejoined by the democratically expressed will of the people.

Everybody wins! Laughing out loud

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