Here's a radio sketch I wrote years ago. I think it's OK (not great, not terrible) but I might be the only person who can stand it. Looking forward to your thoughts (and death threats).
Written because there were no other police-sketch-artist sketches in existence:
POLICEMAN: Now I know with all the negative emotions associated with the break-in it might hard to describe the assailant fully, but please if you could just- just try, hopefully I'll be able to sketch out an accurate mugshot the whole force can use.
MISS STONE: OK. I think... I think I have a clear image in my head now.
F/X: TURNING PAGE IN SKETCH BOOK.
POLICEMAN: OK. Great. Let's start with the jaw.
MISS STONE: Well, er... I guess... Square jaw. Was quite prominent.
F/X: SKETCHING ON PAD.
POLICEMAN: Prominent. Right. Like, er, say... Like this?
MISS STONE: No. That's- More than that.
POLICEMAN: Yeah, but... What I drew there looks pretty good, doesn't it? I mean... quite artistic.
MISS STONE: Err... Well it... it looks like a jaw.
POLICEMAN: Hmm. Anyway, hair?
MISS STONE: Right. Well, there was lots of it. It was-
F/X: SKETCHING ON PAD.
POLICEMAN: That's fine, think I got it. Like this?
MISS STONE: No.
POLICEMAN: Ah, well, doesn't matter really. What I did there looks really pleasing to the eye, I think. Yeah.
MISS STONE: Yeah, but... maybe I should have been more clear with my words. When I said he had lots of hair, I meant- well... he wasn't bald.
POLICEMAN: Look, you've been under a lot of pressure recently. It's giving you a mental block as to what this guy looks like. It's OK. We'll just move on for now. Now the eyes. I know you probably can't remember what colour they were.
MISS STONE: Blue.
F/X: SKETCHING ON PAD.
POLICEMAN: I see. But when you say blue, do you mean blue as in they were brown?
MISS STONE: No, no, I mean blue as in blue.
F/X: SKETCHING ON PAD.
POLICEMAN: Right. But when you say blue, do you mean he had a tattoo of an anchor on his forehead?
MISS STONE: Er, no. Now listen-
POLICEMAN: Look, this is just a first draft, all right. Just want to get a rough outline down for now, 'kay. We don't need to get too specific... So... did the assailant look exactly like my neighbour, Trevor?
F/X: SKETCHING ON PAD.
MISS STONE: What? Trevor? I don't know what he looks like.
POLICEMAN: Kind of plain jaw, completely receded hairline, eyes a kind of dark mud-type colour, tattoo above his eyes, broke my birdbath and won't admit to it. Oh my God! That is exactly the kind of person you've described here!
MISS STONE: Wha- No it isn't!
POLICEMAN: Miss Stone, what you're doing here is very important and you need to go along with it. It's the only way we can sure that git who broke my birdbath - I mean, burgled your house - goes behind bars where he belongs.
MISS STONE: OK, I'm not participating with this.
F/X: CHAIR SCRAPING ACROSS FLOOR. MISS STONE WALKS AWAY. DOOR OPENING.
MISS STONE: Sergeant, I wish to complain about your sketch artist.
POLICEWOMAN: Which one?
MISS STONE: Well, I didn't catch his name, but he has black hair, looks quite bulky-
POLICEWOMAN: Oh, the blonde thin one who flirts with my husband. Yeah, let's get her in trouble.
END