Skit comp 30.5 - 6.6.16

Congratulations to ME for winking. I'll PM me with a subject for next wank. I won't really. It's a joke.
Hence:

Votes - Points - Name
2 - 10 - me
1 - 5 - Otterfox
Special mention: Gappy

Your next subject is WORK.
Rules:
One entry/vote per person. Anyone can enter regardless of colour, sexual preferences or inside leg measurement, except Spanish geese.
Can be a sketch, joke, lyric or anything else as long as it's yours and vaguely linked to the topic. Please try to post just your entry/vote.
You can edit your entry as much as you want, up until the closing time.

Competition closes: 6.6.16

Scoreboard is now:
Position - Points - Name
1 - 15 - Otterfox
2 - 10 - me
3 - 5 - Gappy

INT 1: Thanks for coming in, Mr Fleet.

FLEET: No problem.

INT 2: So, what would you say makes you the ideal person to work for our online content provision service?

FLEET: You won't *believe* what the answer is.

INT 2: Sorry?

FLEET: I came for this interview, and was asked why I should get the job, and you won't *believe* the reason.

INT 1: Well, goodness. And what is it?

FLEET: The reason?

INT 1: Yes.

FLEET: You won't *believe* it.

INT 1: And can you tell us?

FLEET: I can tell you.

INT 2: That's good.

FLEET: But only after you've given me the job.

INT 1: What?

FLEET: Give me the job, and I'll tell you why I'm the ideal person. Although you won't *believe* it.

INT 1: That's just preposterous. If that's how you feel, Mr Fleet, we shall bring this interview to a halt.

INT 2: Indeed, quite ridiculous. There's no way we're giving you the job. [PAUSE] Although, I would like to know the reason.

INT 1: Yes, I'd quite like to know it, too. It's probably not worth it.

INT 2: No, almost certainly not. But, you know...it might be.

INT 1: Shall we...shall we give him the job, maybe?

INT 2: Erm. Yes, go on then.

FLEET: Brilliant, I'll start next week. So, the reason you should give me the job is, I'm experienced in the industry, and work well in a team.

INT 1: That's not very unbelievable.

FLEET: It is if you've ever employed me before! See you, Monday.

SFX: Door slams

INT 1: I can't believe he got us to give him the job.

INT 2: All because of that one wierd trick...

I've written a book about the day I gave up masturbating. It's an aging-of-come story.

Michael and I vote for each other, I guess: anyone want to break the tie?

Spoilt for choice but after long, hard, um...
Two fleas had a race from opposite sides of my chest. Ended in a tie.