British Comedy Guide

Bargearse Page 3

Quote: Kenneth @ 12th February 2019, 11:15 AM

In the same way Britain doesn't have summers?

OK, we'll put the fact that NZ and OZ have the highest skin cancer rates in the world and have done since records began down to them all eating to many prawns as it cannot be the temperate climate surely (!?), so let's get onto insects and things that slither as you seem to be such an expert.

According to the Graudian there were 35 deaths caused by snake bites between 2000 and 2016, which is not many per annum grant you BUT, in the UK, there were..............................NONE. Oh, and by the way MORE THAN HALF of them occurred in or around the victim's home, but course with you being a herpetologist and toxicologist, I expect you will dispute that.

My wife watches all the animal documentaries she can on TV and the one she likes most is Bondi Vet, which is on every day (Sleepy) and quite often one of the major things the vet has to deal with is the ticks that can kill dogs, so no thank you, you can keep Australia and stuff it up yer didgeridoo.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 13th February 2019, 6:53 AM

OK, we'll put the fact that NZ and OZ have the highest skin cancer rates in the world

All due to the hole in the Ozone Layer, caused chiefly by Donald Trump's use of hairsprays and the emanation of hot gas from online forums.

Hot summers and cold winters. Doesn't mean Australia doesn't have winters.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 13th February 2019, 6:53 AM

According to the Graudian there were 35 deaths caused by snake bites between 2000 and 2016

The huntsman spider is not generally regarded as a snake.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 13th February 2019, 6:53 AM

Bondi Vet, which is on every day (Sleepy) and quite often one of the major things the vet has to deal with is the ticks that can kill dogs, so no thank you, you can keep Australia and stuff it up yer didgeridoo.

Didgeridon't be racist based purely on the potency of parasitic arachnids. I confess I've never seen (nor previously heard of) Bondi Vet. Ticks that can kill dogs, aye? Sounds thrilling. I wonder if they do episodes on vehicles that can kill dogs? "These are tyres. They might look harmless, but when attached to a 44-tonne lorry packed with nude photos of Theresa May, they can do serious damage. Especially when moving at speed at over a small dog, In some cases, the dogs can even die. On today's show, Dr Bruce Menzies takes a break from the surf and sun to scoop up some cursed canines that were struck by these potentially lethal, killer tyres."

Quote: Kenneth @ 13th February 2019, 10:36 AM

All due to the hole in the Ozone Layer, caused chiefly by Donald Trump's use of hairsprays and the emanation of hot gas from online forums.

Hot summers and cold winters. Doesn't mean Australia doesn't have winters.

The huntsman spider is not generally regarded as a snake.

'Sfunny, the Australian web page I read said it WASN'T due to a hole in the ozone layer, but then with you being a scientist too I suppose we are now enlightened.

They have freezing winters do they, with frost, ice and snow etc. EVERY year.

Who said it was? I haven't mentioned the huntsman spider anywhere in my posts - get a grip man!!

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 13th February 2019, 11:00 AM

'Sfunny, the Australian web page I read said it WASN'T due to a hole in the ozone layer, but then with you being a scientist too I suppose we are now enlightened.

They have freezing winters do they, with frost, ice and snow etc. EVERY year.

Who said it was? I haven't mentioned the huntsman spider anywhere in my posts - get a grip man!!

The gas in that post alone created a new crack in the polar vortex, causing another 5,000 innocent dogs to die of skin cancer at the Bondi Vet. How many more dogs must die in your crusade for online oneupmanship? Bargearse would not let such cruelty continue.

Quote: Kenneth @ 13th February 2019, 11:21 AM

.............. your crusade for online oneupmanship?

That's rich coming from you......................... As Vic used to say "You wouldn't let it lie"

Good on yer though for mentioning Bargearse 'cos I don't know how we've got away with all this off topic nonsense. Aaron must be on holiday.

sits back and awaits greying Whistling nnocently

Quote: Kenneth @ 12th February 2019, 5:15 PM

Absolutely. Irrational fear of harmless spiders is dumb. Claiming that you wouldn't visit Australia because of a spider that lives in caves in Laos... Being freaked out by something that isn't going to hurt you means you have been brainwashed. Posting proudly about an irrational fear is akin to a little child shrieking loudly when they see a harmless bug. It's addictive attention-seeking. It's time to put a stop to these racist, size-ist misconceptions against spiders.

:D It's not that I don't like spiders I'm just not used to them but I don't kill them when I see an unwanted visitor. I'll always find a way of catching it and putting it outside as they are not pests and I don't like killing anything. I had a False Widow move in to my kitchen last summer which was there for a few weeks and was interesting to watch as it had a very different temperament to the average house spider. Eventually it moved in to a position that allowed me to catch it and put it outside. I know the perception of spiders is irrational and the media don't help with their sensationalist stories about the horrors of False Widows but a lighthearted comment about the size of some species of spider native to Australia doesn't make someone a pathetic attention seeker.

Anyone who posts off-topic about Bargearse is a pathetic attention-seeker.

Quote: Kenneth @ 15th February 2019, 4:57 AM

Anyone who posts off-topic about Bargearse is a pathetic attention-seeker.

You shouldn't be that hard on yourself - go and get some counselling .

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 15th February 2019, 9:45 AM

You shouldn't be that hard on yourself - go and get some counselling .

Strewth mate, have your forgotten the abattoir scene in Bargearse and the Dingo Snatchers, where Bargearese declares that "counselling is only for sheilas and shirtlifters"?

Quote: Kenneth @ 15th February 2019, 12:59 PM

Strewth mate, have your forgotten the abattoir scene in Bargearse and the Dingo Snatchers, where Bargearese declares that "counselling is only for sheilas and shirtlifters"?

Nah, only remember the Bruce's Philosophy Club and their Rule One - NO POOFTERS!

Well, you should re-watch Bargearse and the Bandicoot Burglars, as even back then he was more enlightened than most of today's so-called "policemen".

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