Concerned about a handicapped friend

I have a mentally handicapped friend who lives in a shared house with other disabled adults and he has 24hr care and the care workers shout at him when I leave the room and I noticed some bruises and he never talks now and he behaves like he's catatonic. He won't respond to me and when he goes to his room when I leave the house, I hear him crying as if he's in pain.

I know this is off topic but I really need advice. I asked on all my sites. Is he being rough handled or is he just behaving different. He is normally a clean and tidy man but he is very untidy now, he is also losing weight.

Quote: AlGino @ 23rd December 2015, 12:02 AM GMT

mentally handicapped friend......care workers shout at him when I leave the room and I noticed some bruises and he never talks now.....He won't respond to me......I hear him crying as if he's in pain.....He is normally a clean and tidy man but he is very untidy now, he is also losing weight.

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I'm pleased you raise this question here, as you're talking about a group of vulnerable people who are one of the more likely to be targeted by a certain small but undesirable portion of society. So we must watch their backs for them. You've also already mentioned enough about the situation to warrant concern.

I support a charity for Adults of severe Learning difficulties, so have some insight here. Worth noting there are innocent explation to what you describe, but also if they are a victim of abuse, they may not tell you about it, if the bully's done their job well. If you know the exact mental health issue this patient has, I would call up the registered charity/expert bodies that deals with this as they will have a wealth of information on what you can do. Failing that www.mind.org.uk they have a free legal line and can signpost you.

I can't really advise at all, as I'm not insured to do so, but I can comment that it may not be a good idea to begin by confronting the types of scum that do prey on the vulnerable, without taking advice first. They are highly likely to never admit to it (even with video proof), so you need to contact the charity and latter the authorities if there are still concerns. It's also worth noting that people that do this type of crime quiet often have no empathy. Also does the patient flinch when someone raises their hand towards them ? Do they show visible signs of distress when you speak about a particular person ? These are just examples of the sorts of clues you can look for , but it does depend on the type of mental health condition so they many not apply in this case.

I applaud your public spirit and I hope you get a satisfactory solution to this, hopefully it's all innocent stuff. But we should never turn a blind eye, especially to the most vulnerable people in society. It's also important you keep up contact with your friend, as that would inhibit any abusive behavior, if that's what it is

I'd like to echo Nick Nockerty's sentiments when he says he applauds your public spirit, though unlike Nick, I have nothing constructive to add.
Had I been in your shoes I'd be thinking about taking my concerns to the police. Surely they would know the correct course of action and would either instigate it or advise you.

Very sorry to hear about this news.

Ideally no one in need of 24 hour care would be left at any time simply with establishment carers.

The latter need to be monitored permanently by ordinary people in communities.

Absolutely disgraceful and all too frequent. My Nanna was in her 90's when she had a stroke and she had to go into a care home,my mother swears they killed her with their mistreatment and the medication she was on. BUT like everything in life if you ain't got the proof you can't do anything about it. If you have concerns I would go to the police because it will only get worse for you're friend.

Quote: Nick Nockerty @ 23rd December 2015, 8:52 AM GMT

I'm pleased you raise this question here, as you're talking about a group of vulnerable people who are one of the more likely to be targeted by a certain small but undesirable portion of society. So we must watch their backs for them. You've also already mentioned enough about the situation to warrant concern.

I support a charity for Adults of severe Learning difficulties, so have some insight here. Worth noting there are innocent explation to what you describe, but also if they are a victim of abuse, they may not tell you about it, if the bully's done their job well. If you know the exact mental health issue this patient has, I would call up the registered charity/expert bodies that deals with this as they will have a wealth of information on what you can do. Failing that www.mind.org.uk they have a free legal line and can signpost you.

I can't really advise at all, as I'm not insured to do so, but I can comment that it may not be a good idea to begin by confronting the types of scum that do prey on the vulnerable, without taking advice first. They are highly likely to never admit to it (even with video proof), so you need to contact the charity and latter the authorities if there are still concerns. It's also worth noting that people that do this type of crime quiet often have no empathy. Also does the patient flinch when someone raises their hand towards them ? Do they show visible signs of distress when you speak about a particular person ? These are just examples of the sorts of clues you can look for , but it does depend on the type of mental health condition so they many not apply in this case.

I applaud your public spirit and I hope you get a satisfactory solution to this, hopefully it's all innocent stuff. But we should never turn a blind eye, especially to the most vulnerable people in society. It's also important you keep up contact with your friend, as that would inhibit any abusive behavior, if that's what it is

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He's autistic and despite him being a fully grown man, he has a mind of a pre-teen. Now that you mentioned it, he has be a bit jumpy when his support workers go near him, he does that a lot when he is scared so that's why I am so worried. I visited him again today and found out he urinated on his bed which is very unusual considering he is normally very clean and has never had any bladder problems and also he's only in his early 30s. He's quite a healthy young man despite the condition he is in now. I mostly look out for him as he doesn't have any friends and his parents have separated and refuse to visit him so I normally would stop by and sit and talk to him but he won't talk to me anymore and when I asked what had happened, he collapsed his head in my lap crying loudly as if he was at a funeral I honestly think something is going on and his money has been going missing. I usually handle his finances and since his odd behaviour has occurred, he's been left with only £40 but he gets like over £600 every other week from the government because of his special needs. I handle his finances because he is illiterate and also can't count and he normally buys easy to cook food so I usually do his shopping and his carers normally do the cooking but when I checked his food in the fridge, it stank and was rotten and moldy. His oranges were saggy, green and hairy and his his bread was green too and all of his food has expired. But still, he won't talk. I asked the carers if any of his housemates have been bullying him but they said "No" and I know that the other housemates won't do anything because they usually keep themselves to themselves and don't really interact together, they only share the lounge in order to watch TV, that's it.

I think I'm going to tell his social worker and the mental health services because it's breaking my heart seeing him like this.

Quote: AlGino @ 23rd December 2015, 9:38 PM GMT

I think I'm going to tell his social worker and the mental health services because it's breaking my heart seeing him like this.

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I would do the same. They are experienced in these matters.