Int. The Crown Pub
Surely Joe, the landlord, is sat beind the bar looking surly. The entrance door opens and in walks gentle 75 year old Teddy Feinnes. Surly Joe stands up.
Surly Joe: (Angrily) Get out!
Teddy starts walking towards the bar with a gentile smile. He arrives at the bar.
Surly Joe: (Annoyed) I said, GET OUT!
Teddy: (Kindly) Hello, good man. I’d like to know if you’d put a poster up for me. It’s for a charity jumble sale at the local village hall.
Teddy hands a poster to Surly Joe who looks at it in utter disdain.
Surly Joe: Whats this? (Reading in disgust) “Help buy a new set of lungs for a 3 year old girl”?
Surly Joe looks up.
Surly Joe: (Annoyed) Do me a favour.
Surly Joe screws up the poster and throws it past Teddy’s head. Teddy goes and picks the poster up off the floor and starts unscrewing it. Surly Joe marches round to meet Teddy.
Surly Joe: I know what your game is, don’t you worry.
Surly Joe pushes Teddy in the shoulder.
Surly Joe: (Continues) (Warning) I’m on to you.
Teddy: I don’t think you understand. We just need to raise….
Surly Joe: (Interrupting) You turn up? First sunny day of the year? In the only pub in town with a riverside beer garden? Who are you kidding?
Teddy: (Confused) Wh-what?
Surly Joe: (Accusing) Where were you in the winter though, eh? You didn’t support me then did yer?!
Teddy: (Flustered) But I haven’t been in a public house in nigh on 10 years.
Surly Joe: (Disgusted) Don’t give me that load of old bull! You were down at The Pig and Whistle, (Wide eyed) but now the suns out! And so are the freeloaders!
Surly Joe stars leading Teddy out.
Surly Joe: C’mon, you’ve had yer lot. This pubs for regulars only, now hop it.
Surly Joe opens the door and pushes Teddy out. Surly Joe turns to face the camera.
Surly Joe: (In angry disbelief) What does he take me for? A cu-
END
