British Comedy Guide

Supermarkets. Page 8

Popped into Lidl yesterday, they've definitely made improvements to the shelving and stocking of items, the layout is more Brit supermarket now and all the bread rolls and stuff have new compartments set higher up with a kind of lid instead of just an open wicker basket slanted downwards. But it still felt like I was visiting Lithuania or somewhere with all the foreign accents around me. But have to say they have the best and cheapest bread rolls and doughnuts of all.

Anyway, got to the self service queue because no service tills were open then the tannoy announced checkout two now open. Almost everyone quickly switched to that till but the cashier didn't turn up for nearly ten minutes and the queue was nearly to the back of the shop. I said quite loudly every ironic German efficiency comment I could think of, but I didn't get a murmur of response or a smile from the Europeans next to me, even though some were speaking English to their kids. Proof that lot just don't have a sense of humour. The sooner we Brexit the better.EnglandScotlandWales

You have a self service facility in Lidl? I usually have to wait behind 3 trolley-loads to buy my (maximum) 3 items. I invariably give up. They never have more than 2 of their 6 tills open at any one time.

We'll need a sense of humour when we Brexit - it'll be the only thing left us!

Quote: beaky @ 3rd February 2018, 10:45 AM

We'll need a sense of humour when we Brexit - it'll be the only thing left us!

Laughing out loud

Time for another moan about supermarkets. All four local ones I use do things which annoy me. Most annoying is the new items you try and really like and can't get anywhere else so start doing your shopping in that store only and then find they suddenly don't do it anymore. I'm talking about Lidl and Iceland who are always doing this. Stop it. Or don't.

Morrisons do a lot of things right but still too many things wrong. Really what is the point of having 20 checkouts when there's only ever 3 open? They change their isles too much meaning there'll be one thing I can't find and have to go somewhere else for it. At the checkout yesterday I saw it now had paper bags instead of plarstic ones. What??? That'll never take all my bottles. Luckily the closed one next to it had some plastic bags. Tesco pretty decent except for the bread which I don't like at all, and is a big annoyance seeing as I live on the stuff. If only there was an Asda near me, does everything I want the way I want it. Best supermarket by miles. Angry

I have been banned from the supermarkets!
Not by them - by 'er indoors.
Says I annoy her, buy shit and criticize her choices.

One of my fantasies is to live full time in a supermarket.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 9th June 2019, 10:00 AM

I have been banned from the supermarkets!
Not by them - by 'er indoors.
Says I annoy her, buy shit and criticize her choices.

Was that your cunning plan to get out of it?

I suspect it was.
The wandering off to the clothes section for half an hour leaving me stranded was the beginning of the end.

To be honest it pisses me off when couples trundle about together and have 10 hour conversations over buying one item, meanwhile blocking my way from buying off the same shelf. The only time Mr. B and I do supermarkets together is when we're on holiday. We both prefer to be on our own, though I must say he sometimes fails to bring back exactly what I've asked for.

Quote: beaky @ 3rd February 2018, 10:45 AM

We'll need a sense of humour when we Brexit - it'll be the only thing left us!

You obviously haven't got one now!

Quote: Briosaid @ 9th June 2019, 6:37 PM

We both prefer to be on our own, though I must say he sometimes fails to bring back exactly what I've asked for.

That's not surprising!

Quote: beaky @ 3rd February 2018, 10:45 AM

We'll need a sense of humour when we Brexit - it'll be the only thing left us!

And some Brexiting arse will probably ruin that, too.

Quote: Chappers @ 9th June 2019, 9:15 PM

You obviously haven't got one now!

That's not surprising!

After nearly 46 years, you'd think he'd have learned. Yes, 46 years, and he's still survived.

I like Morrison's stores but I usually shop lite so just whizz around with a basket and use the self service checkouts. In every Morrison's store I've visited I constantly get the error on the self service checkouts "THIS ITEM HAS NOT BEEN RECOGNISED PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE". I then have to wait for someone to come over and scan their barcode thing to bypass it and it's not just me because they are doing it for everyone. I don't mind a one off but this happened on every visit with random items until I stopped going there because of it. There is also the logistics because it takes me 8 minutes to walk to a big Asda superstore with a George and electronics dept so I always go there. Shame because I would cut off my own arm for a good meat and potato pie and Morrison's does the best.

I've not been to the Morrison's store a 20 minute walk away for about two years and I bet if I went there tomorrow and took a few items to the self service checkouts I would hear those infuriating words THIS ITEM HAS NOT BEEN RECOGNISED PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE.

An Aldi opened recently and I can see why they are popular but they are not ideal if you just want to pop in to buy a spot of lunch. If there are no self service tills you can be waiting for ages behind a row of people with trolley loads while you just have a sandwich and bottle of lucozade.

Well done Tescos. about a year ago I asked a shop assistant with a tie on, ie. a manager type about an item I couldn't find anymore which I liked and couldn't find in any other shop. He got his computer tablet thing out and looked for it but found it was discontinued. Sorry he said, we don't seem to stock it anymore, I'll try and find out why when I get the chance. A few months later it reappeared in much larger quantities than it used to and is still going strong.

Also I happened to walk in just when a new batch of fresh batons were out which they used to be slow about doing. Definitely something they've worked on because the two Tescos I use 30miles apart have started doing it recently. Warm French bread :)

One of life's little pleasures.
A Sainsbury's mini store by me puts out warm donuts at 8 in the morning.
A lovely treat to eat for breakfast on the way to work.

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