Here is a piece we did a while back
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6Z2pbykEFQ
Any thoughts would be much appreciated
A SHORT ! (foul language)
First of all why on earth did you film it outside on a windy day?
It's not bad, nicely acted and some snappy lines (the constant gay jibes work actually pretty well).
But you're telegraphing it a bit too much, here's a c**t ooh look he's acting like a c**t.
Maybe if you held back just a little?
Let stuff develop as a surprise?
Also if your budget stretches to, 2 guys dicking about in a field and a few on screen texts. Then the mock doc format works against you.
Because that never actually feels like a documentary.
I rather liked it, and enjoyed the fact the gag kept repeating, but you gave yourselves a tough job filming outside when it didn't seem to have any relevance to the scenario. Would have been more logical set in a "studio", and much easier for us to hear, incidentally.
Plus, it was a little too long, but you knew I'd say that didn't you? Someone alwasy does. 
I watched 2m 27 secs
Far too slow with over-long gaps between the actors' speeches and over-long pauses and hesitations during dialogue.
And seriously, in a sketch that uses so many 'c**ts' in the dialogue and in which the 'c**t' of an interviewee refers so readily so 'spazzers', would that interviewee really say "I slept with his wife"?
Slept with?????????
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease!
I think the acting is really good but the subject doesn't appeal. I don't think young people would like it either. A 'filthy' word in sketches/drama etc is only very funny if its only used once in a crucial part of the plot. I don't object to bad language usually and surprisingly at my age; but the c word, I can't stand it..... for some reason. I just typed 'can't' so not much difference
I can't believe the c**t didn't make a gay joke about the moustache.
Quote: bushbaby @ 20th October 2015, 7:11 PM BSTI think the acting is really good but the subject doesn't appeal. I don't think young people would like it either.
You may be in danger of becoming a prude?
Liked it, but too many awkward gaps between lines. Hard to hear and it wasn't just the wind, projection was too soft at times. The c**t was well into his character, like the "leave it" line. Good job. But I'd also echo Rood Eye's points.
in addition to other comments I would add;
- think this has huge potential to be developed, especially as a medical condition that can be diagnosed - plenty of scope there as to how better to fill the five minutes
- would have liked more examples of the condition and how it impacts on his life, family , living with the disease etc.
Great idea just think it needs tightening up a bit