Here's a look at my current project. This would be episode 4 or 5 in the series. All you need to know is that Sean and Bill run a high-street gallery, which they sort of fell into possessing. Sean is a recluse, Bill is very optimistic and positive and Sam is Sean's sister or more of a "carer" as she would put it.
I won't be posting anything else from this but I hope this extract would be enough to get some feedback on.
SCENE 1. SHOP. INT. MORNING.
BILL ENTERS THE SHOP WHISTLING AND CARRYING A NEWSPAPER. HE WALKS ACROSS THE GALLERY FLOOR AND TO THE DESK. SEAN IS DRAPED OVER THE DESK ASLEEP. SEAN MAKES SOME TWITCHY MOVEMENTS STOPPING BILL IN HIS TRACKS.
SEAN
(MUMBLING) No, I don't want to... keep your buns to yourself... hey lady!... I see what you're doing... with that trombone...
BILL PAUSES FOR A SECOND AND WAITS FOR SILENCE AND THEN RESUMES WHISTLING AND WALKS INTO THE BACK ROOM. HE TAKES OFF AND HANGS UP HIS HAT AND COAT. HE APPROACHES THE FRIDGE AND GRABS A NOTE PINNED TO IT.
BILL
What's this? "I.O.U...
AS BILL READS THE NOTE OUT LOUD HE OPENS THE FRIDGE, TURNING THE NOTE OVER.
BILL (CONT'D)
...food."
THE FRIDGE IS EMPTY APART FROM AN APPLE CORE. BILL PICKS IT UP.
BILL (CONT'D)
Ugh.
BILL THEN NIBBLES ON THE APPLE CORE, SHUTS THE FRIDGE AND WALKS BACK INTO THE GALLERY. HE SLAMS THE NEWSPAPER DOWN ON THE DESK, WAKING SEAN IN THE PROCESS.
SEAN
I didn't kill him!... What? Who? Oh...
SEAN RUBS HIS EYES AND STARES AT THE ENTRANCE OF THE SHOP FOR A SECOND AND THEN DRAMATICALLY SHIELDS HIS EYES FROM THE DAYLIGHT.
SEAN
No! No! It's too bright. What is it? What does it want?!
BILL
It's called daylight. If you stepped outside and looked up, you would be more familiar with the concept.
SEAN
If I went outside and looked up, I would go blind. Everyone knows that.
A CUSTOMER ENTERS THE SHOP AND BEGINS TO BROWSE THE PAINTINGS ON THE WALL.
BILL
Per chance, when was the last time you actually left this shop?
SEAN
Last night, actually, I'll have you know.
BILL
Oh, really? Where did you go?
SEAN DRAMATICALLY POINTS TO THE BACK ROOM.
SEAN
The fridge!
BILL
Yes, I'm aware of that.
BILL HOLDS THE APPLE CORE ALOFT AND THROWS IT BEHIND HIM. IT LANDS IN THE HOOD OF THE CUSTOMER. BILL TURNS AND DOUBLE-TAKES AS HE REALIZES HIS MISFORTUNE.
BILL
er... I meant when was the last time you left this building?
SEAN
Oh, well, that's an entirely different question with an entirely different answer.
BILL
Yes. Which is?
SEAN
I don't remember.
BILL
You don't remember the last time you left the shop? It's worse than I thought.
SEAN
No, I don't remember the question. It was all long and complicated. What was the question again?
BILL
It doesn't matter. I think I know the answer.
SEAN
Well stop asking stupid questions then!
BILL
How do you know they were stupid if you can't remember them, eh?
SEAN
I don't. I wasn't talking to you. (TO CUSTOMER) Hey! You! Stop asking stupid questions! You question askererer... or something more insulting...
BILL APPROACHES THE CUSTOMER.
BILL
Don't listen to him. Is there anything I can help you with? This is a great piece, don't you think? ...no?
BILL IS TRYING TO REACH AROUND AND INTO THE HOOD OF THE CUSTOMER TO RETRIEVE THE APPLE CORE. THE CUSTOMER IS AWARE OF THE ODD BEHAVIOUR AND MOVES AWAY BRISKLY.
BILL (CONT'D)
(TO SEAN) You need to be more polite. Why don't you go for a walk? I'll mind the shop. Go on, it's a beautiful day.
IT STARTS TO RAIN HEAVILY.
SEAN
HA! Is it now?
THE CUSTOMER APPROACHES THE EXIT AND MOTIONS TO GRAB HER HOOD. BILL RACES OVER.
BILL
erm... You sure you don't want to stay in here, where it's dry? You're interested in art? Me too. Which is why I work in an art shop, I suppose.
THE CUSTOMER TURNS TO LEAVE AND GRABS AT HER HOOD.
BILL (CONT'D)
No, er, look, we don't want our customers getting wet. Why don't you take a complementary umbrella? (TO SEAN) Sean! Umbrella!
SEAN
Right!
SEAN DISAPPEARS UNDER THE DESK. BILL SMILES AT THE CUSTOMER, TRYING TO BE NONCHALANT. SEAN REAPPEARS WITH A HI-FI AND PRESSES PLAY WHICH PLAYS "UMBRELLA" BY RHIANNA.
BILL
No, no!
SEAN
Sorry?!
BILL
Oh, god. Here look, this is a painting of an umbrella. You can have it free of charge.
BILL GRABS THE PAINTING OF AN UMBRELLA FROM THE FLOOR DISPLAY AND FORCES IT ON THE CUSTOMER. BILL PUSHES THEM OUT OF THE DOOR. THE CUSTOMER WALKS OFF HOLDING THE PAINTING ABOVE THERE HEAD.
BILL
Phew. That could of been awkward.
SEAN
Can I turn it off, now?!
SEAN TURNS IT OFF AS BILL SHOUTS.
BILL
YES!!! Oh, er, yes. Thanks for that. You were a big help.
SEAN
Well that sounds like a day well spent. Turn the sign.
BILL
You can't be serious?
SEAN
Deadly serious. As in, if you don't believe that I'm serious it could be deadly to your health. Understood?
BILL
How are we going to turn a profit if we close five minutes after we open?
SEAN
I told you, we only have to sell one of these... things...
BILL
Paintings?
SEAN
Thank you. One of those sold a month and we'll be fine so that means we can have 29 days holiday when we choose.
BILL
That's false logic. How can we guarantee that we will sell a painting on the particular day we choose to stay open? Wouldn't it be better if we stayed open all month until we do sell a painting and then take the rest of the month off?
SEAN TRIES TO MAKE SENSE OF ALL HE JUST HEARD. HE GIVES UP TRYING.
SEAN
No! Just close the shop!
BILL
Look we've already had one customer today. I feel lucky. Besides, what if this is that day that we do sell a painting and we miss our chance? I'm telling you...
BILL GRABS A CHAIR AND SITS NEXT TO THE DESK.
BILL (CONT'D)
...there will be a chain reaction and we'll be consumed with business in a manner of seconds, just you wait and see.
THEY BOTH STARE AT THE DOOR, WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ENTER THE SHOP.
DISSOLVE TO:
SCENE 2. SHOP. INT. MINUTES LATER.
CAPTION:
5 MINUTES LATER.
PEOPLE WALK PAST THE SHOP. ONE IS ABOUT TO ENTER, BILL REACTS WITH TREPIDATION, THE PERSON CHANGES THERE MIND AND BEGINS TO WALK AWAY, SECOND GUESSES THEMSELVES, RAISING BILL'S ANTICIPATION ONCE MORE BUT THE CUSTOMER CHANGES THERE MIND AGAIN AND LEAVES.
BILL
Bugger.
SEAN
Right, that's it, close the shop!
BILL
No, wait, I'm telling you...
SEAN
...and I'm telling you to close the shop. Right, fine, I'll do it.
SEAN GETS UP AND WALKS ACROSS TO THE DOOR. SAM IS ABOUT TO ENTER. SEAN ATTEMPTS TO CLOSE THE DOOR ON HER.
SEAN
Nope, sorry, we're closed.
SAM
Why?
SEAN
er... refurbishment. We are painting the walls.
SAM
No, you HAVE paintings ON the walls. You're an art shop, remember?
SEAN
Isn't that close enough to what I said? Now, go away.
SEAN ATTEMPTS TO THE CLOSE THE DOOR ONCE AGAIN BUT SAM HAS A FOOT WEDGED IN THE DOOR.
SAM
...but I have great news!
SEAN
Oh, well, that's terrific, I'm very happy for you. Good day.
SAM
No... I... right...
SAM REACHES IN AND GRABS SEAN BY THE EAR. SEAN RELENTS AND SAM ENTERS.
SEAN
No! No! Not the ears!
SAM
He always hated this as kids.
BILL
I should try it sometime.
SEAN RETURNS TO HIS DESK.
SEAN
You come near my ears and I'll pin YOU to the walls.
SAM
Don't you want to know what my good news is?
SEAN
No.
SEAN RINGS A BELL.
SEAN (CONT'D)
Next!
BILL
I'd like to know. What is your good news, Sam?
SAM
Well, Bill, thanks for asking. I have a date.
NO ONE REACTS.
SEAN
What, that's it? I went to the toilet earlier, would you like me to recant the tale to you?
SAM
Dates are important.
SEAN
Yes, Christmas and the day I win the lottery, that's all that matters to me.
SAM
No, DATING is important.
SEAN
So is me going to the toilet and I think both are just as regular, in this case.
SAM
Ah, but this one is different.
SEAN
In what way?
SAM
Ah, you're interested now, huh?
SEAN
Nope, I am just trying to speed this conversation along so I can get back to what matters to me. Sleeping.
SAM
Sleeping? It's a beautiful day outside.
SEAN
Ah-ha! No, it's not! Look.
SEAN POINTS OUTSIDE WHERE THE SUN IS BRIGHT AND PEOPLE WALK BY SHIRTLESS WITH ICE LOLLIES. SEAN LOOKS ON CONFUSED.
SEAN (CONT'D)
Well, whatever. Beauty makes me sleepy.
SAM
Well don't look in a mirror, you'll be an insominiac for life. No, this guy is the one I was telling you about last week.
BILL
Not that clown?
SAM
No, not the clown.
BILL
The magician? The zookeeper? The ventriloquist?
SAM
You make it sound like I date weirdos.
BILL
So, who is it then?
SAM
Oh, you remember, the taxidermist.
BILL
What the guy that stuffed your cat? The guy you were so desperate to see again that you threatened to kill strays just to have a reason to see him again?
SAM
It never got that bad.
BILL
How did you manage to meet him again then?
SAM
I... Don't ask silly questions. God, Bill, what are you like?
AS SHE SAYS THIS, A PERSON STICKS A MISSING POSTER FOR A CAT ON THE SHOP WINDOW.
