The Play what we wrote...

A long time ago in a forum far, far away... we had a bit of fun writing a mini play - taking turns to write passages. Of course as well as being great fun it soon became chaotic and descended into anarchy, with people desperately trying to post only to find someone else had already posted and moved the story on - making their lovingly crafted bit of shite redundant.
So in order to keep the fun to a maximum whilst keeping the stabbing to a minimum I have a cunning plan...

Anyone interested in playing can post a one word reply beneath this post as a sort of place holder. Then when (and only when) the person above you in the queue has posted you continue the story - however you wish - by 'editing' your post. You can then post another empty reply at the foot of the queue and await your next go!

Rules

You can post one line one word or a whole passage, but you must wait until the person above you has posted!

No formatting rules, just try and make it readable!

As I am already here I will start - I will edit this post to post the opening to 'Dead men's feet' once someone has posted 'me next'. If you wish to play (and please God I hope someone does) post a one word reply under the last post below to reserve your place.

Please only post in this thread if you intend to play. Any questions PM Me

DEAD MENS FEET

In a dimly lit underground car park Chappers walks slowly, nervously looking over his shoulder. Suddenly a figure standing in the shadows strikes a match and lights a cigarette, illuminating as he does so the handsome angular features of Hercules Grytpype Thynne.

HGT "Cottaging is a queer old game."

Chappers thinks for a moment.

CHAPPERS "Ah yes, Have you seen George Michaels latest release?"

HGT "Seen it," looking at his shoe, "I think I am standing in it"

CHAPPERS "Quick, I think I might have been followed" he looks around then hands HGT a parcel. "This has to get to The Blue Nun at the Kit Kat club before midnight."

HGT "How will I recognise her?"

CHAPPERS "She's a Nun and she's Blue?"

HGT "Right."

CHAPPERS "You're new at this aren't you."

HGT "Yes, how could you tell?"

CHAPPERS "Well no one has worn a mackintosh and trilby since the 50's"

HGT "Anything else?"

CHAPPERS "You don't light an e cigarette with a match."

HGT "Oh."

Suddenly both men freeze as they hear footsteps approaching. The footsteps speed up, then burst into a fast clattering.

CHAPPERS "God no, they've sent that deadly bastard Flatley... Right you better get out of here, don't worry about me I'll...oh he's gone."

Chappers swallows hard then turns to face the approaching footsteps of doom...

It was a whole troupe of Irish dancers coming along the street. There was no way out. What should he do? Then he remembered. Irish dancers had to keep their arms by their side. It was just a question of avoiding the onslaught of feet. Or distract them so that they had to move their arms in some way and then they'd be in the right shit. Rules is rules after all. At least they were in line. If he caught them right they'd tumble like a row of dominoes. He threw a ten pound note on the ground. Flatley's eyes lit up. He couldn't resist it and bent down to pick it up. His oncoming colleagues had no way to avoid the impending disaster and tumbled over the crouching american Irishman. So with one bound Chappers leapt over the pile of bodies. Whew- that was a narrow escape thought Chappers. But as he ran there was one thing nagging in his mind. He realised that the dancers feet did not properly.

From across the street HGT saw Chappers make good his escape. Now to find the Kit Kat Club and deliver the package he thought.
Leaning up against a stereotypical lamppost was a stereotypical lady of the night. HGT thought there was something familiar about her. Was it her broken nose and matching teeth or her very reasonable rate card? He couldn't put his finger on it...

PROSTITUTE: "You can put your finger on it for a fiver."

HGT: "Wait a minute, I recognise that Adams apple...Is that you agent Will Cam?"

PROSTITUTE: "Shoosh! I'm incognito."

HGT: "You're in suspenders."

PROSTITUTE: "Well what about the about the Gimp suit?"

HGT: "You're not wearing a Gimp suit."

PROSTITUTE: "I meant the one under your mackintosh."

HGT: "Err, I haven't time to explain that I haven't an explanation for that - so moving on. Do you know where the Kit Kat club is?"

PROSTITUTE: "It's a speakeasy round the corner, down the steps knock three times on the door and tell them you are looking for Big Lil's."

HGT: "Thanks, are you here to keep an eye on me?"

PROSTITUTE: "Err, yes that's right, I am here to watch your back. It is definitely not my day off and I am definitely not here on my own time."

HGT moves off toward the corner.

PROSTITUTE: "Are you sure you don't want to put your finger on it?

HGT trembling voice "Chappers.......I'm frightened. I wanna hold your hand"

CHAPPERS: "That's not my hand Herc..."