Thought I'd post a couple of oldies from le dark side before sticking some new stuff up here just to see the reaction.
CAR ACCIDENT.
Woman is sat in her front room when the doorbell rings. She goes to answer it. On the doorstep is a man.
Man: Is this number 34?
Woman: Yes.
Man: Then you must be Mrs. Mullins. I am so sorry about this. I'm afraid there has been an accident. I was driving home from the pub and was about to pull up into my drive and I'm afraid I hit your cat. I really must apologise. Please, if there is anything I can do just ask.
We see a back view of the man. The woman peers over the shoulder of the man looking puzzled. Back to original shot.
Woman: Um........I think I just need to point out a few things. First this is 34 but I'm not Mrs. Mullins, she is next door. Second, I don't own a cat so, again, it can't be mine. Thirdly, and most importantly, that is not a cat on your bonnet, it's a child.
Man: Oh.
Woman: Yeeeah.
Man: So..........I haven't hit your cat?
Woman: No.
Man: Oh thank christ.