A topical sketch. Suffers perhaps that the last line is nearly identical to the last line in my 'Soft Toys' sketch, but as a standalone sketch its ok!
Int. Office – 11am
Jez and Lee are working away at their computers. Their boss, Mr Pope, walks in. Jez and Lee are ignoring him. Mr Pope coughs loudly.
Jez: (Looking up) Oh, one moment, Mr Pope. Just updating my facebook profile.
Mr Pope: Facebook?!
Jez: Yeah, its this really cool social networking site where you can hook up with all your friends and…..
Mr Pope: (Angrily interrupting) I know exactly what it is, Jez! I want to know what the hell you’re doing on it during work time!
Mr Pope turns to face Lee.
Mr Pope: Lee, why are you letting him do this? You’re his manager!
Lee: (Looking up) Hang on, I’m just answering a quiz on Myspace.
Mr Pope looks irate. Jez starts laughing.
Jez: Haha! Myspace?! You’re so 2006, Lee.
Lee looks over at Jez and sticks his tongue out. Jez replies in a similar fashion.
Mr Pope: ENOUGH OF THIS! You’ve both been warned on numerous occasions that these sites are prohibited apart from at lunchtimes.
Lee looks at his screen.
Lee: Hmmm, have I kissed anyone from my top 10 friends list today. I don’t think so.
Jez: (Looking over) Only if your mum’s in there! (Laughs)
Mr Pope: SHUT UP! THE PAIR OF YOU, JUST SHUT UP! Now, its come to my attention that you’ve also been spending 3 hours a day on Ebay!
Lee: (Faux innocently) Oh, uh, have we? E-what? What was it?
Mr Pope: (Angrily) You know exactly what it is and I know exactly what you’ve been buying!
Jez: (Scared) So you know all about…….
Mr Pope: Yes! I know all about your Pete Doherty style trilby!
Lee: (Worried) Surely you don’t know about my…..
Mr Pope: Ha! Yes we know all about that, Mr 97.8% positive feedback!
Lee: (Distraught) Oh God, so is this it? Are we? Are we fired?
Mr Pope: No, not this time. But believe me, If I catch you so much as trying to go on facebook, myspace or Ebay (slight pause) then you won’t be so lucky!
Lee: We understand
Jez: Loud and clear, Boss!
Mr Pope: Good! Now get back to work, I’ve got a meeting to attend to with Mr Smythe.
Mr Pope goes to leave the office, but in walks Mr Smythe who looks quite concerned.
Mr Pope: Ah, Mr Smythe! I’m just been rebuking Lee and Jez here for their unauthorised use of the internet. Now, what’s this meeting about?
Mr Smythe: It’s about your future here.
Mr Pope: (Interested) Oh really? Please, tell me more!
Mr Smythe: Well we’re going to have to let you go.
Mr Pope: (Shocked) What? Why?!
Mr Smythe: Because of all that porn you’ve been downloading.
Mr Pope: (Downbeat) Oh crap.