JIM AND FRANK ARE STANDING INFRONT OF THE DAILY PLANET
JIM
Look, look up in the skys
FRANK
Is it a bird
JIM
Is it a.....
SUPERMAN LANDS INFRONT OF THEM
SUPERMAN
For the last time it's not a bird, I'm the last son of Krypton, defender of truth, justice and the American way except for Indianapolis and I am sick of people calling me a bird.
FRANK
Well you look a little from the ground when you're flying up there
SUPERMAN
I'm not surprised, I choose to dress like a very beautiful woman
JOHN
Wait that kind of bird
SUPERMAN
Yes what kind did you think citizen?
JOHN
Well one with feathers, like a pigeon
SUPERMAN
Feathers with these thighs,
FRANK
You're a transvestite Superman
SUPERMAN
The tights, the capes, the fabulously quaffed hair and the f**k me red boots.... isn't it obvious.
JOHN
But you're Superman, not Superwoman, hang on you're not Supergirl as well
SUPERMAN
No I am not Supergirl and I am man, who happens to have superhuman powers and an all too human desire to express his feminine side.
FRANK
I don't get it, you don't seem a very manly Superman at all, more like super gender confused person
JOHN
Yeh why don't you take Krypto Super dogging
SUPERMAN DROPS HIS HEAD IN HANDS
SUPERMAN
Truly prejudice is the real kryptonite
JIMMY OLSEN RUNS ON OUT OF BREATH
JIMMY
Supes what are you doing here, haven't you heard Lez Luthor and Batty Man are fighting
SUPERMAN
Black and Purple, they're not fighting, they're clashing. Up up and away.
SUPERMAN FLYS INTO THE AIR
FRANK
More like up, up and a gay.
BIZZARO APPEARS HE HAS A CROSS AROUND HIS NECK AND IS CARRYING A BIBLE
BIZARRO
Me am Bizarro, am fundamentalist Christian and am loving you all to hell.
It's only that line, though, I like the rest of it.