Hi All
Nobody commented on my last video. Not sure if that meant everyone hated it or not.
Anyway, here's something new from me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RY3SnUMR0s
Looking forward to any thoughts on the script, look, acting and sound. I want to get good at this so I'm happy to listen.
Best Wishes
Yacob
It's well-drawn. Not sure of the gag.
Thanks Paul.
Hi Yacob... nice. I would suggest pitching his voice the other way, Progressively slow. And give him a more angelic look. The punch needs looking at in terms of timing, maybe a cut to him first and then back to her before it. Plus brass is an alloy not something you can mine for and the words 'keep looking' don;t make a lot of sense. Maybe tie something in with his first words about her, something like 'SHe looks fit', rather than beautiful and then you get a double pay off - kinda. Also 'I am going to make her mine' rather than 'I must make her mine' would be more natural a lead to your punch. End line - something like 'Come on darling put your back into it' rather than something specific she is digging for. Along those lines.
The light on her breasts made them look a bit odd given the way she walked .. but maybe that was just me.
Good on you for posting!
Thanks for the long reply Marc!
I can understand why you would want the man to look more angelic. I thought I had made him look fairly innocent but maybe I should've gone further with it.
If I made the voice deeper wouldn't it negate his angelic look somewhat?
I played around with the timing a lot. Maybe something more drawn out would've worked better. At the time my thought was it was funnier to get to the punch quickly. I wanted it to be so quick that it was almost confusing.
I know brass in an alloy. It seemed (almost) amusing to me that he would go to a lot of trouble to get someone to mine for a cheap metal that can't be mined for.
Nice idea about "She looks fit". It certainly would tie in with the pay-off. Though maybe it would detract from his assumed innocence if he used the word "fit".
So you were sharing at her breasts then? Tut
Big thanks again. Hope it doesn't sound like I'm being dismissive of your point of view in any way. I really like hearing these opinions.
No f**ker disses me Yacob! 
Like on so many occasions, I'm going to have to agree with everything Marc said and suggested.
Your animations are always of high visual quality, I'm just not sure why they are sooooo short?! Unless it's because you're compiling a quick fire sketch show.
Quote: Lee @ 6th March 2015, 4:16 PM GMTYour animations are always of high visual quality, I'm just not sure why they are sooooo short?!
I'd imagine it's pretty time-consuming to do the animations (he says, having exactly no idea). Liked this gag, although I didn't get it at first 
Thanks Lee
I might change a few things in this sketch and then re-upload it. Then again I might just learn what lessons I can from people's opinions and move on to the next thing.
I might do longer sketches later. Not sure yet. Depends.
And thanks Gappy
Yeah, animation is rather time consuming. Even with my soft-of-acceptable-looking cartoons it takes a while.
No worries if you didn't get the gag at first (surely that's on me, not you). Strangely enough I want people to be a little confused by it. Get a, "What? I don't get it... Oh now I get it... And it's stupid!" reaction.
Quote: Marc P @ 5th March 2015, 5:45 PM GMTI would suggest pitching his voice the other way, Progressively slow.
Hi Marc. I forgot to ask what you meant by this.
I like the animations you got no worries with that part at all you are good at it.
I have watched a few of your other videos as well and gag wise this one gave me the reaction you mentioned above. It finished and I had to stop and think and then it clicked and yes it was stupid and I'm a fan of stupid.
Though I'm not liking the voices in this one and in the other videos they remind of the boy in school that always said "I told you so."
Thanks Carlos.
Quote: Carlos Manwelly @ 6th March 2015, 6:55 PM GMTThough I'm not liking the voices in this one and in the other videos they remind of the boy in school that always said "I told you so."
Interesting. I certainly don't mean to sound smug. Do you not like the high-pitched male voices in my videos or all the voices in my videos?
It's all the voices. But that is just my opinion ask others see what they say.
Thanks Carlos. If anyone has any thoughts on the voices (in this video and/or others) feel free to let me know.
Quote: Yacob Wingnut @ 6th March 2015, 6:06 PM GMTHi Marc. I forgot to ask what you meant by this.
Just a bit deeper
Quote: gappy @ 6th March 2015, 5:48 PM GMTI'd imagine it's pretty time-consuming to do the animations (he says, having exactly no idea). Liked this gag, although I didn't get it at first
From personal experience, it's eye-wateringly painful task. I've made a 30 second animation ONCE.