Too much exposition at the start maybe?
A Taliban guard throws Dave into a dark room next to Sgt. Chambers. The Taliban guard steps back. Chambers is in pain from a wound to his leg.
Chambers: You alright mate? Sgt. Chambers. 2nd Company, Black Watch.
Dave: Dave Dangerfield. Dangerfield's Used Car Emporium, on the A90, near Dundee.
Chambers: What you doing here?
Dave: Team building exercise in the Basra Mountains.
Chambers: Team building?!
Dave: Well we power walked up Ben Nevis last year, so this seemed like the next logical step. One minute we're discussing the lack of penetration Chevrolet has in the UK market, then wham! It's AK47s for breakfast.
Chambers: Where's the rest of your team?
Dave: They're all very dead. Right, time to get out of here. Oi, Terry Taliban, over here!
The guard approaches him.
Dave: Listen, I've got a meeting with Harry Archibald first thing on Monday morning... Do you even know who Harry Archibald is? For the love of God man, he's the second biggest Rover dealer in Aberdeenshire! (Beat) Right come and have a look at this.
The guard leans in. Dave head butts him. The guard drops. Dave springs to
his feet and reaches to Chambers in the style of the Terminator films.
Dave: Come with me...if you want a grrrrreat deal on a used motor.
END
