Hello. I performed a stand up skit that went down well with audiences a few months ago and was told to try and make it into a sketch. I'm not an expert on sketches but I've given it a go and would appreciate any feedback on writing style (preferably constructive or downright negative). I consider it to be like a poor man's Mitchell and Webb sketch (maybe even a homeless man's).
It's to do with the real reason the Mayan calendar ended in 2012. Cheers.
1. SFX: SHOP BELL
2. SHOP WORKER:
Hey up Dave. How's it going?
3. DAVE (OWNER):
Yeah not too bad. Just a quickie. I just want to know how the business is going recently.
4. SHOP WORKER:
Yeah not bad. Everyone needs calendars. In fact I've just finished the CLIFF RICHARD 2012 calendar actually. I think this one could be his best yet.
5. DAVE (OWNER):
Sorry, did you say 2012? Why have you made a 2012 calendar already?
6. SHOP WORKER:
In case people want to buy in advance. I mean it's 1999 now so it's not too far away.
7. DAVE (OWNER):
Yes. BC not AD.
8. SHOP WORKER:
Are they a tribute band?
9. DAVE (OWNER):
No! Why would anyone want a calendar 3000 years in the future.
10. SHOP WORKER:
It's only 13 years isn't it? #mathsfail.
11. DAVE (OWNER):
Our years are going down to 0 first before they go back up... Remember... We had that town meeting?
12. SHOP WORKER:
Shit. No I remember now. What do you want me to do?
13. DAVE (OWNER):
Obviously stop making anymore calendars after this 2012 one.
14. SHOP WORKER:
Hmmm.
15. DAVE (OWNER):
What?
16. SHOP WORKER:
Well if we stop all of a sudden people may think we're predicting the end of time itself in the year 2012.
17. DAVE (OWNER):
You'd have to be INSANE to believe an ancient civilization could predict the end of the world 3000 years in their future.
18. SHOP WORKER:
It's a possibility. And also you never know people might like to bulk buy calendars.
19. DAVE (OWNER):
Why would anyone do that?
20. SHOP WORKER:
Flood.
21. DAVE (OWNER):
You can't just say flood and leave your argument at that.
22. SHOP WORKER:
You never know how people may react in a disaster.
23. DAVE (OWNER):
I think we'll be okay up to 2012.
24. SFX: SHOP BELL
25. CUSTOMER:
Excuse me, can I buy the CLIFF RICHARD 2015-2020 calendars? Apparently there's a snowstorm coming.
26. SHOP WORKER:
Sorry we only do up to 2012.
27. CUSTOMER:
(disgusted) Only do up to 2012? And you call yourself a calendar shop? You're a joke of a shop.
28. SFX: SHOP BELL
29. DAVE (OWNER):
(reluctant) Get CLIFF see if we can get him up to 2050.
30. END