British Comedy Guide

Online Betting Page 2

I only play the Lottery and that's not often at all. I win the £3 and £5 and, sometimes a little more, but it's only enough to fund a few more lines another week. I don't have a system (obviously), but I DO ALWAYS play the Lottery if strange coincidences with words have occurred during the day. Say...if we're watching telly or listening to the radio...and someone says a word immediately after one of us, here, has used it in a sentence (you know how weird that is, right?), I use the numbers the letters in that word represent (ie. a=1 etc.) and enter into the very next Thunderball (because that's only a quid and easier to win). If the word is longer or shorter than I need, I do my best to decide how to interpret it (you see how logical all this is, yeah?)...and I also add the numbers for the letters that make up my name and the names of the two daughters who live with me. So...that's four quid every now and again...and I actually do well out of that. Not every time, but it's just a bit of fun, isn't it.

My dad bet on 'the horses' like anything. He had a system and he had huge, thick books full of statistics that went back years. He actually won money from it, but not millions. It was an amazing hobby for someone who enjoyed horseracing. My mum was always on at him to stop risking money like that (they both worked, btw). So he told her he would give it up if she packed up smoking 40 a day, which was a definite no win situation in his eyes. One day she did...so he immediately gave up betting...just like that...cold turkey. I was seriously impressed and proud. Then, years later, she started smoking again...so he began betting again....just like that...straight back into his books of statistics. Can you believe...he actually packed it in, without hesitation for years in between. So...that would mean...his previous years of gambling on the horses was not an addiction?

He didn't go to the pub and get pissed as much during that time, either. He always said his winnings helped to pay for his beer, his dart flights and his guitar strings. He loved playing guitar more than drinking, I guess, because he never once stopped doing that...and only went to the pub when he was called in for darts tournaments. I have a picture somewhere of him being presented with a teasmade, or something, by Keith Deller, after he won a competition. That is a very strange photo. It's black and white...and there are a couple of other people standing with them. Very sinister scene indeed. My dad was a weird one. Good weird. Extremely glad it skipped a generation...phew!

Sorry if any SPAG mistakes, I'm currently trying to eat a plate of chicken without my dog climbing on to my chest and nicking bits. I'll just hit post...here you go...

Years ago - long before online accounts and when bookmakers just had a speaker to commentate on horse races. There used to be on Saturday afternoons The ITV 7.
Pick 7 horses on a special betting slip and if all 7 won, you got the pool.
If no one won it, the pool went forward to next week. It used to build up to the hundreds of thousands.
After each race they would announce how many were still in the pool

I was in a pub and word was going round that one man in there already had 6 winners and the 7th race was off shortly.
There was a TV on the bar and everyone was watching it.
The presenter said ' there is only one punter left, he's on Red Atom (or whatever the name was) in the last and he is in Cleckheaton - good luck sir or madam.'

This was in the 1970's and the worst swearing you would hear then was bloody or bugger.

The race was entering the last furlong and Red Atom was leading but as the finishing line was coming, others were slowly catching him.
The 'man with the bet was shouting and gesticulating alarmingly getting louder and louder urging his horse on.
At the post it was overtaken by one horse and came 2nd.
The man shouted B A S T A R D
Followed by - the landlord 'hey hey hey, you're barred, I won't have bad language in this pub and he was ushered out.

Years ago, it was the law of the land that a betting shop had to be uncomfortable - they weren't even allowed to have a chair for a customer to sit on.

The reason was, of course, to deter people from spending time there.

Nowadays, there's a huge bank of TV sets showing you horseracing, dog racing and everything else but I well remember the time when there was just a little speaker on the wall through which a bloke would do his best to keep you up-to-date with what was happening at race meetings all over the country.

This little speaker was known as "the blower".

The bloke would be describing an exciting race and everybody in the bookie's office would be on tenterhooks as the runners entered the final furlong at which point, as likely as not, the bloke on the blower would stop commentating and announce the betting odds for a different race at a different track.

After he'd finished, he'd then announce the result of the race he'd just abandoned at the most exciting stage.

Looking back, the system was rubbish but it was all we had.

Sky Bet are running an unbelievable offer at Cheltenham this week.
No catch - a free bet (I presume they are trying to catch new customers)

Bet up to £20 on the first race each day and if you lose they credit your account with the money back.
Not credit you with a free bet - but the money back which can instantly withdraw.

I tested it yesterday seeing as it seemed too good to be true and it's right.
Ironically - the horse I picked won, so I actually won a fair wad.
Even better, I backed it in the morning at 4/1 and it came in at 6/1 - and they paid me at those odds.
I withdrew the winnings and they were immediately in my bank account.
If you have a Sky Bet account, fill ya boots.

Image
Quote: Rood Eye @ 13th March 2019, 8:34 AM

Years ago, it was the law of the land that a betting shop had to be uncomfortable - they weren't even allowed to have a chair for a customer to sit on.

Also, as I remember from my dad's betting days, children weren't allowed in...and, to stop anyone accidentally seeing inside on a hot day, those tacky plastic, but very fun, colourful ribbon curtains would be blowing about at the door. I guess, there were also people who didn't want to be spotted by passers-by, who might then go and trash them to the rest of the town for gambling...especially if it was well known their family was already struggling financially.

My mum actually bought one of those blinds for our kitchen door to help keep flies out (probably another reason betting shops had them). We NEVER had a kitchen door, my dad took it off immediately they moved in, apparently...none of my three aunties had one...it was just something I was used to in my family. I am serious when I say that curtain taught me to plait to a very high standard and all my daughters' long flowing hair was a lot easier to handle because of that curtain.

I remember the first time I asked my mum, "Why do we have a betting shop curtain?" Weird question, now I look back, because I'd known that kitchen curtain all my pre-school life and beyond. Yet, I didn't assume the curtains were first meant for homes before betting shops started using them. At least, I don't think they were invented for betting shops. I've been wrong before...ask my exes.

You sparked an old memory there Lady Leg.
When I was an apprentice, it was at a company that had 3000 workers.
Wages were paid in cash in wage packets and paying 3000 people every Friday must have been a logistical nightmare.
You were given a set time to go to the wages office and if you missed it you had to wait until everyone else was paid.
I often noticed that a lot of women were always waiting or hanging about in the corridor.
I eventually found out they were the wives of some of the workers.
As soon as their men were paid - the wife took it off them unopened.
There was a bookmakers and pub across from the factory and these men headed straight there to piss and gamble their earnings away.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 13th March 2019, 10:03 AM

There was a bookmakers and pub across from the factory and these men headed straight there to piss and gamble their earnings away.

I used to live in an area where there was a pub on every corner and in every street. You couldn't go anywhere without passing one. My dad had his usual pubs and, on her way back from work, my mum would pop her head in the pubs to see if my dad was there and alert him to the fact she was on her way home, so he should also come home. If he wasn't in the pub, she'd pop her head through the ribboned door of the betting shop and call him out of there too. He had no problem with that at all. He came home every evening, ate with us all and then relaxed in front of the TV with us. He had his pub evenings sometimes, but I remember him being around a lot. My mum still hated it when he went to the pub a couple of times a week. I didn't see her problem, but I was only a kid...so, if he wasn't there, mum was still there. I only realized when I grew up how she must have felt.

I hope the 'no pictures' glitch is soon resolved, I have a beauty to show here on the betting topic.
It's a horror story for me but I need someone like Billy to work it out for me.
I could work it out myself but each time I try, my mind goes to mush.

Yesterday (Sat 5,2,22) I had a little bet on the televised racing. A 50p yankee on 4 horses. (£5.50 bet)
mainly it was just an interest bet so I had something to cheer on before the footy.

The first one won at 9/1 (no winnings yet as you need at least 2 to win to collect anything)
The second one won at 9/4 so now I knew I had definitely about £16 to come. A decent result for a fiver.

But why did I have to look at the 'cash out now' button
They were offering me £71 to cash out now. £71 for a £5.50 stake is a good return.
The dilemma was £16 with 2 races to go or £71 in my hand.

I pressed the button and got the £71.

The next one won at 8/13 not a great price but there would now be more doubles and 1 treble up.
And by now you know by how the tale is going, the last one won at 11/2.

Doubles, trebles and a 4 race accumulator all up.

Maybe when Iv'e calmed down, I'll work it out. I know Billy is good at this stuff.

Best not to know!

I've worked it out. But I'm with Beaky on this one. However, it's not too bad. It's not as if it runs into thousands - or even the latter half of the hundreds.

Couldn't resist, I used an online Yankee calculator.
£447.33....nuts.

Parsimony will be the death of me (damn my Yorkshire heritage)

Image

Share this page