THE OTHER GREEN PARTY - unafraid to tell it like it is. The Green Party for real ...possbly! First of what I hope might be a spoof on political parties. I would like to do a series of these on you tube. Feedback would be appreciated if you can be bothered. It's not meant to be slick (comfortably achieved I think).
Thanks
Redgoose
You really don't seem at all comfortable doing the show, but it's kinda obvious that you're reading it. And reading it like a North Korean newsreader reading a script hanging off of a gun pointed at your head.
The material's also kind of uncomfortable, awkward puns and over written gags.
Also I'm guessing there's not much editing going on. Maybe there's a decent final product but you're really going to have to work to pull it out.
I mean what do you want the actual final product say.
Thanks SootyJ. I really appreciate it. This vid was shot off the cuff really. I am in the process of writing the script properly. For sure I'm no actor and I'm not happy on camera but in the absence of anyone else ...it's me. You said something about over worked gags. Could you give me an example from the video so I can better understand and make corrections please?
Honestly most of them.
So for example the one about the mountain's name, or the one about Springfield take ages to come out. There's a point with most gags that the humour comes from your audience making leaps of understanding. So you need to say less.
Also watching the first 30 seconds again, you've got 5 jokes. But they're all weak so infact they lose impact. Never use cliche unless you're subverting it. And here you've got Australian by name, Australian by nature, followed by not knowing your name and clearly being interrupted by some one who isn't there. Those are all really weak jokes.
And the timing is kinda mushy and ineffective.
I'm not the best performer in the world myself. My advice is as follows
1 Rewrite the script, watch the Daily Show, the 2 Ronnies and The Day 2 Day for this sort of gag.
2 Use as simple a format as possible. Ditch all the talking to someone off camera etc. Mock news reader is used so often because it's the easiest
3 Memorise the script till you're comfortable with it, you'll never get the performance right whilst focussing on reading.