Hi all,
Here is the first 4 pages that I've written for my script "army, apparently". I want to portray the everyday lives of soldiers living on a camp in Germany and the boredom, mischief and hopefully, hilarity that they experience. Something I wanted advice on is the use of swearing. I wanted to be as accurate as possible and swearing is an everyday, hourly even minutely occurrence. Thanks for reading!
EXT. guardroom.night
A coach pulls up. MARK, CHRIS and PHIL Clumsily get off, all three carrying two identical black holdalls and rucksacks. CPL ADAMS Sees the coach and walks out of the guardroom holding a clipboard.
CPL ADAMS
Right, welcome to Germany fellas.
MARK begins to offload his bags onto the floor.
CPL ADAMS
Don't get comfy, we'll head over to the block and get you a pit space sorted.
CPL ADAMS walks straight towards the accommodation as MARK picks up his bags whilst CHRIS and PHIL stagger towards the block.
INT. accommodation block.night
CPL ADAMS leads the new soldiers up one flight of stairs and looks at his clipboard.
CPL ADAMS
Okay, which one of you is SIG NURSE?
PHIL
That's me corporal.
CPL ADAMS hands PHIL a key.
CPL ADAMS
This is your floor. Down the corridor last door on the right. You're sharing with TITCH he's on a course for a few weeks so you've got it to yourself. Try not to wank yourself senseless, we've got an 8 mile run tomorrow morning.
CPL ADAMS walks up another flight of stairs with MARK and CHRIS behind him. CHRIS and PHIL exchange looks before PHIL struggles through a door and then walks toward his room.
They reach the second floor and again CPL ADAMS checks his clipboard.
CPL ADAMS
SIG SMITH?
CHRIS
Yep, that's me CORPORAL
CPL ADAMS
Here's your key, you're end of the corridor, on the left. Sharing with BIBBY. You're not allergic to pork are you?
CHRIS
Er, no, I don't think so
CPL ADAMS
Good, cos he's a f**king pig.
CHRIS grimaces and begins to head down the corridor as CPL ADAMS turns to MARK.
CPL ADAMS
So you must be Deakins. I don't know who you've been selling your arse to but you've blagged the single bunk.
CPL ADAMS leads MARK down the corridor and unlocks his room. MARK walks past him into the room and sets his bags down on the bed. CPL ADAMS notices the delight in his face.
CPL ADAMS
Enjoy it while it lasts, as soon as a single full screw or lance jack comes into the Troop you'll be out of here. Right, as I said before we've got an 8 miler tomorrow, so don't go out and get plastered otherwise Staff McPryce will destroy you.
CPL ADAMS heads down the accomodation stairs and meets four soldiers in NBC suits, gas masks and holding an array of nurf guns walking up.
CPL ADAMS
Jesus Christ, everytime?
TITCH pulls up his gas mask.
TITCH
We need to give them a proper Alpha troop welcome!
CPL ADAMS
just make sure they get to PT with some of their bodily functions in tact.
The three masked soldier and TITCH start walking upstairs
TITCH
Yeah yeah, they'll be there.
CPL ADAMS
Good. I thought you were on a course anyway TITCH?
TITCH
Yeah they had too many people or something so I got binned off.
INT. Marks room. Night
Mark is unpacking his bag and neatly placing clothes on the bed. We hear a bang from downstairs and outside illuminates for a brief second. Mark doesn't notice and presses play on his iPod. He continues to unpack. Minutes later he notices a flash bang roll in and the door close. There's a loud bang and the whole room illuminates in bright light.
EXT. Troop garages. Morning
Alpha troop is stood to attention. They are dressed ready for PT. STAFF SERGEANT MCPRYCE stands pacing angrily before them.
SSGT MCPRYCE
Jesus shagging Christ! I've got three brand new siggys and that fat f**k BIBBY all sat in the medical centre unable to see or hear a God damn thing! They'd only been on camp fifteen cock sucking minutes! the lads at the Somme had a better chance than they did!
SSGT MCPRYCE stops pacing And looks to LT.CHALMERS
SSGT MCPRYCE
Sir, have you got anything you want to say to them?
LT.CHALMERS steps forward
LT.CHALMERS
Er, I completly and utterly agree with everything STAFF MCPRYCE has just said. fifteen, er, cock sucking minutes just isn't enough, well not in my view anyway.
There's silence as SSGT MCPRYCE stares at LT.CHALMERS.
LT.CHALMERS
If the person or persons responsible could come forward and make themselves known, then
SSGT MCPRYCE interrupts. Starring at TITCH.
SSGT MCPRYCE
I could hazard a guess. Mark my words ladies and gentlemen we will get to the bottom of this. Right the boss is going to take you for PT today. I'm going to have to go introduce myself to the new lads through touch alone.
The troop turns and begins to jog out of the troop compound as SSGT MCPRYCE heads back into the garages.
END
Thanks for reading! I was thinking of a mockumentary style with a narrator so people have a chance to easily follow the army terminology etc but as has been said, it's been done to death.
Appreciate any comments!