Dating sketch

guy sitting down eating doritos going threw the dating site seese really hot chick

doritos guy

you seem really hot love to meat you

she message back

hot chick

you seem realy nice

he almosts chockes on his doritos

doritos guy
okay were do you want to meet

hot chick
anywere you want baby

doritos guy
at nandos doritos bar

int. nandos doritos bar

she is eating hsi doritos and passing it to him, chewing on them as he passes doritos to hiim as he chews on them from her hand

hot chick
were to next your place?

dorito guy
yer for sure

int. doritos guys bedroom
they are making passionat love

hot chick
oh baby pass me those doritos eat them off my belly

doritos guy
wow you are everything I ever though

they ly back after sex as she passes doritos to his mouth

doritos guy
wow your the best chick I ever met can't belive you wer on a dating site

hot chick
well I was on one dating site before I met you but didnt work out

doritos guy
oh yer what was it

hot chick
std dating, they were all assholes

You should put this stuff in the critique section if you want the people here to review it.

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 26th December 2014, 7:42 PM GMT

You should put this stuff in the critique section if you want the people here to review it.

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does that chat up line ever work

Quote: sootyj @ 26th December 2014, 7:43 PM GMT

does that chat up line ever work

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Don't know...he hasn't answered yet.

hmm I have hundreds of them this is for free if wasnts to use it well use aint say nothing bad so must be critique enough

lol

want to make a scetch show need comedians that can deliver,

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 26th December 2014, 7:46 PM GMT

Don't know...he hasn't answered yet.

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ha ha love your avatar used to love alf, , love fragle rock to ,

When Picasso first painted in his 'strange' new style, people didn't understand.
I think the same about writerdude, we have to learn his style.
He is the Jackson Pollock of the printed word.
I look forward to much more.

The problem is that it's too long and would be quite expensive to film for just one joke at the end.

The joke isn't a surprising reveal either. It's too basic to knock the audience for six.

Punctuation would help. As would making their names clearer, maybe by using CAPS. (This site isn't the best for writing a clear script on!)

The ending was a bit weak, and not everyone will understand what she means by "STI".