Santa: 'F**k Christmas'
Popular seasonal worker Father Christmas has recorded a shocking video blog hosted on the website Yuletube.
In the video Christmas, also a model for soft drink makers Coca-Cola, launches into an expletive laden rant at gadget hungry consumers labelling them "Greedy C#%*s".
He declared that the downsizing of the Elf factory at the North Pole was the "final straw" which pushed him to make the video. He claims that the Elves inability to make popular consumer electronics gadgets such as iPads and Kindles was due not to a lack of skills and equipment but due to "licensing issues".
Santa then goes on to "name and shame" Children who have requested items he regards as "Wholly Frivilous".
He then ad-libs a letter from Mckenzie Adams, a full time student and Minecraft enthusiast from Keighley, West Yorkshire.
"Santa" He reads "I have been a proper good boy this year and I want these presents"
1. A Playstation 4; no doubt so I can practice murdering rivals who encroach on my drug turf when I am a big boy.
2. Countless war and crime simulators for my playstation. Why? See above
3. Yet another iPad - No I don't know why the last one broke.
4. No toys whatsever that cannot fire eye removing projectiles at 70 feet per second.
Ta.
"Ta!" F*%#@ng "Ta!" Well I've got some bad news for you McKenzie, thanks to your Mothers insistence on mounting her bullshit glass fire four feet higher than the skirting board and a little bit of legislation called the Health and Safety at Work Act 1974 you'll be getting jack shit out of me, Work To Rule, Bitch!
Mrs Adams was not prepared to comment although Mckenzie posted a comment on the website under his Fathers name stating merely "Brighthouse it is".