London used to be a scary place for Northerners

I was just reading an article about Led Zeppelin being offered huge sums to do a tour and it put me in mind of when I used to work darn the smoke.

It was in the late 70's and early 80's and it was a frightening place for a 'green as grass' Yorkshire lad.

I mention led Zeppelin as I was in a pub one night around the Fulham Chelsea area (not so good on London areas) called (I think) The Britannia (does it still exist - does anyone know it) and there was a live band on.
The band lead singer noticed Robert Plant was in the audience and asked if he would get up on stage. He did and sang all the Led zeps top songs. A great night.

But then one night, we walked in a pub called (spelling?) The Colerherne around earls court. I am not in any way anti-gay but this place was full of the weirdest weirdos I had ever seen. All the men seemed to have leather apparel and zips and were dancing together. We were 'tapped up' as soon as we took our first sip of beer.

A one armed man picked a fight with me in the street.

A beggar asked me for money and tried to kick me when I refused.

I had my coat stolen from a pub called (once again I think) The prince of Tek?

I put money in a jukebox in a pub called The Gordon Bennett and every time one of my records came on someone kicked it to make it skip and play the next one.

In another pub, I witnessed guns being passed secretly in a plumbers bass and money changing hands. The next night there was an armed hold up in a shop where the shopkeeper was shot to death. I was sure it was connected to what I had seen but daren't say anything.

I was always glad to scurry back up north to peace and tranquility.

Do these places still exist?

I hear tell that men do still dance with each other on occasion in London.

I guess it depends where you go in London, much of it seems to have been gentrified during the past twenty years or so, therefore many of the old rock pub venues have either been transformed into gastropubs or turned into luxury apartments. As for "The Smoke" being full of strange people, yeah that pretty much is true, all human life congregates down here because the streets are indeed paved with gold.

One of the oddest ever experiences I had occurred here in this very suburb in the local branch of BHS. I was shopping with my then boyfriend when an old man shuffled up to us and stated that I "closely resembled Dick Emery's female character Mandy, especially when Emery was 'lying on the mortuary slab'." Nice.

Does anything of that bizarre nature ever happen in Harrogate?

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 10th November 2014, 10:41 AM GMT

I mention led Zeppelin as I was in a pub...

But then one night, we walked in a pub....

I had my coat stolen from a pub...

I put money in a jukebox in a pub...

In another pub...

View original

Hmm, I sense a connection here...

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 10th November 2014, 10:41 AM GMT

Do these places still exist?

View original

Nay lad 'tis nowt lark tha' now, ye get'thesell darn 'ere - icky thump sethee

(I've can do all the regional accents you know - amazing eh? Fluent that's what I am)

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 10th November 2014, 12:36 PM GMT

Nay lad 'tis nowt lark tha' now, ye get'thesell darn 'ere - icky thump sethee

(I've can do all the regional accents you know - amazing eh? Fluent that's what I am)

View original

Black Country?

Quote: Oldrocker @ 10th November 2014, 12:50 PM GMT

Black Country?

View original

No, my version of "the north"

Quote: Shandonbelle @ 10th November 2014, 12:24 PM GMT

Hmm, I sense a connection here...

View original

nice one Shandy

I wouldn't come to London if I were you. It's full of Manchester United supporters.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 10th November 2014, 10:41 AM GMT

I had my coat stolen from a pub called (once again I think) The prince of Tek?

View original

Was this near Earl's Court as well? My mate's wife worked there for several months last year if so.

Yes it was in Earl's Court. I told the barman my coat had been nicked and he laughed saying something like 'that'll be old Harry, he'll have flogged it on the market already'
When the police came, the barman had no recall of saying these words.

The reason most of these stories are pub related is because I worked on the exhibitions - earls court, olympia and at the barbican centre and there was nothing else to do after work but 'sup'.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 11th November 2014, 7:55 AM GMT

Yes it was in Earl's Court. I told the barman my coat had been nicked and he laughed saying something like 'that'll be old Harry, he'll have flogged it on the market already'
When the police came, the barman had no recall of saying these words.

View original

"That's Old Harry's game, that is. Going to and fro like fleas 'pon a blanket."

From a Cornish tale.

Scene of the crime circa; 1982

Some of my memories of London in the early 80's: seeing a bank robbery right in front of me; the barman getting shot at in the pub we were in; kids with little fingers missing after being disciplined by whatever mob ruled that part of town; two cars pulling up outside work, and the drivers getting out weapons to have a fight in our yard...then the next day, one of the relatives coming around asking who had phoned The Old Bill (don't admit to that); the car in front of me being ambushed by a group of (primary school age) kids, who pelted it with stones before one of them chucked a brick through the window. Actually, that last one was from 10 years ago, so I doubt much has changed.

Cor! Amazingly to me at the time, I was told by the police I was stupid for putting my coat on a coat hanger then taking my eyes off it....

I said I was as green as grass at the time and the one armed man that tried to attack me proved it. He was with his girlfriend and bumped into me on purpose (to show off I expect) I was a big strong lad and he bounced off me. He then took a swing at me with his one arm. I grabbed it and told him to behave.
But he took another and another and wasn't going away.
So I floored him with a quick jab to the solar plexus.
Then more shocking to me than the guy trying to hit me was his girlfriend. While he was laid gasping for breath she called me a 'f**king c**t'
I had never heard a woman swear before - not that bad anyway he he.